


You Can’t Kill Emrys

by neighborhoodwitch



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake Character Death, M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2020-12-07 17:54:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20979995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neighborhoodwitch/pseuds/neighborhoodwitch
Summary: Merlin made one fatal mistake and now his world has turned upside down in a way that will change the course of the world, and his destiny, forever.Tags will be updated as I go, any warnings will be at the beginning of chapters





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter involved slightly graphic descriptions of burning as well as attempted murder so if ur not chill with that stuff

Merlin suppressed a noise of pain when he knees connected with the stone floors of the throne room. The rough leather of a knight's gloves held his chin and forced him to make eye contact with the royals above him. Uther looked down on him with livid disgust, that he could handle, the hatred that burns in Arthur eye was something he could not. He kept his eyes trained on Uther’s, not even attempting to hide his joy at the kings red and spluttering face. 

His newest witch hunter had done the impossible, he figured out the best kept secret in Camelot. The prince’s manservant was a sorcerer. He watched the prince he had served with his entire heart rise and walk down till his boots were right in front of him, then he felt the sting of metal rings across his face. Blood filled his mouth as he met Arthur eyes, he spat blood on his boots. The boots Merlin had polished just yesterday. Arthur didn't speak, but Uther did, “What were your plans sorcerer? How many have you hurt? Before you hurt my son!” His heart twisted at the thought of hurting Arthur but he refused to back down.

He would not live under the rule of a tyrant any longer. 

The heavy doors swung open surprising both Arthur and Uther. He tried to see who entered but his head was roughly forced down. He heard a gasp of horror as two sets of footsteps entered the room. “What is this, Uther?” Oh Morgana, he felt a heavy pang in his chest. “Why is Merlin in chains?”

He had tried so hard to protect her and reset their destinies. He had shared his magic with her and in return she had confided in him. He had trained her to the best of his abilities, she had grown so much in her magic and, sadly, her boldness. He tried to caution her, tried to tell her that Uther would kill her if she wasn’t careful. 

“He has been caught using magic, he is to be burned at the pyre tomorrow.” He tuned out Morgana’s protests to look at Arthur while the guards weren't paying attention. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping to see. Was it pain? Longing? Love? Merlin wasn’t sure what he wanted from Arthur, but it wasn’t this, it wasn’t the hateful betrayed look in his eye. It wasn’t his silence at the idea of Merlin’s death. He looked into Arthur wonderfully blue eyes to search for any piece of regret, something to tell him Arthur didn’t want him to die. But he found nothing. Arthur was siding with Uther, he was going to let Merlin burn and celebrate the purging of another stain on this great kingdom. 

“Has he hurt anyone?” Morgana's desperate pleads broke through the crashing in his head. 

“Morgana,” He licked his cracked and bloody lips, his voice hoarse from protesting. “Don’t. It's ok.”

“You don’t speak to her, sorcerer.” A gloved hand forced his head back to the ground, but he didn’t protest or resist. He would be at peace with this, he had to be. He could die knowing that he was loved, Gaius, Morgana, his mother, Gwen. These people loved him as he loved them. He could hear Morgana snarl at her father before waving at the guards. Unable to ignore any order from the royal family, the man lifted Merlins head from the stone. He tried to convey everything he was feeling, he tried to tell her to stand down. He wasn't sure what she saw in him, but she turned on her heel and stormed out with Gwen fretting in her wake. 

Once the doors closed, he looked to Uther with hatred burning so violently in his eyes the prince flinched. “If you have more questions I will not answer them.” The cool determination in his veins quenched the burning, unending pit of furious magic that rose up inside him. He couldn't try anything while he was in chains. 

Uther motioned for him to be taken away, and as he dragged from the hall he kept his head high. Leveling his eyes with his masters, letting Arthur see the depth of his rage. He felt his eyes burn gold right before the door closed, a show of his power even through the dampening cuffs. He kept up this appearance of a painless sentence as he walked past a sobbing Gwen, and watched the palace servants whispered in disbelief. The metal bars of his cell shut with a loud boom of finality, and he sagged against the stone wall. 

Blood dripped from the new slices into his wrists splattered the ground. Collapsing onto the floor the darkness swallowed him up, the last thing he saw was the rivers of blood forming on the stone floor. Joining what remained of his predecessors. 

\--

He awoke when the rotation on the guards switched. He strained to look but it seemed Arthur had sent his friends far away, forever untrusting of his own men. It would be his downfall one day.

He listened to them eat, drink, and gamble, unaware of the power they were guarding. In his cell he fought to break free of his restraints, suppressing noises of pain as the lashes on his wrists grew deeper. But what was another scar among his many? Eventually the pain overwhelmed him and the darkness swallowed him once more.

\--

This time when he woke up it was to the bars screeching open for cruel knights to fetch him. These were the knights who treated him like dirt, who used him as a punching bag. He wished nothing but suffering upon these men as they dragged him out into the courtyard. They yanked him by his chains everytime he stumbled, he refused to cry out though. He bit down on his cheek as the metal dug in deeper, he was sure they must be rubbing bone now. 

They paraded him out and he let the whispers wash over him. People he interacted with every day on behalf of Gaius or Arthur, scandalized by his conviction. It made him furious. How could these people so readily turn their back on someone who had lived in their midst for years? He had been watching for so long, they have never seen a true sorcerer. Someone with unchecked, wild power. Someone they should fear.

He would show them something. 

He tilted his head back to the sky and roared, letting the wild magic he possessed flood the air around him. The guards flinched and the people stumbled back in fear. He turned his eyes, burning like a thousand splendid suns, onto the king and prince who had sentenced him. Out onto the sea of peasants who had turned against him in a heartbeat. Then he took a step, wrenching the chains out of the guards hands, and walked to the pyre. With another flash the chains fell away, it hurt terribly and his magic retreated in protest, but he pulled it to the forefront so it simmered under his skin. A scared servant, a boy he had worked with while polishing the knights armor, came to remove the iron cuffs and bind him to the post with rope. He hissed as the fiber dug into the open wounds, making the boy all but flee. These people had never seen a real sorcerer before and he was going to show them one. 

Uther looked delighted when the flames first started, so Merlin moved his gaze to Arthur. The prince seemed pale, but his jaw was set with heady determination. He met Merlins golden gaze when the first flames licked his skin. 

He screamed. 

The flames brushed him like a lover, a terrible, violent, and painful lover. He could feel his skin bubbling up as it hit boiling point. His clothes caught fire, becoming a rush of vengeful red. He could no longer see, his eyes water from the smoke that coiled around him. It choked him. Took the oxygen out of the air, sliding into his lungs like a snake and squeezing until his chest felt like he had taken a thousand knives to his heart. 

He cried out for Kilgharrah, the dragon who held no love for him, and Athiusa, the dragon he had failed. He screamed for them, to let them feel his pain, then he let his magic break free of its restraints. The chains he had put upon himself his entire life broke free and he erupted. 

The last thing he remembers feeling before he succumbed to his injuries, was soft grass on his burning skin. Then he was gone. 

**-Morgana-**

She could barely see the horrors before her through the smoke that stung her eyes. Her stomach recoiled at the screams of pain that rang through the air, and at her family’s delighted stares. Delighted on Uther's part, Arthur looked like a blank statue. She had locked down her joy when she saw Merlin make his eyes turn gold, or when he had used blatantly powerful magic to release himself from the chains. His roar of pain awakened her magic in a way she hadn't felt before, something deep and primal wanted to respond to his cry of pain. 

Silence except the crackling fire came after that, Uther ordered the men the quell the flames to make sure Merlin was really dead. She looked out across the crowd, she saw Gaius quickly retreating to his quarters, Gwaine was almost weeping on Percivals shoulder. Lance and Leon stood with stony face, except Lance’s eyes were wet. 

Feeling bile rise in her throat, she turned and rushed back into the castle, ignoring the eyes on her, or Gwens pleads for her to slow down. She didn't want to know what they would find when the flames finally slowed. 

She slammed the door before Gwen could enter the room. She turned the heavy key in the lock before practically collapsing against the door, willing herself to stop heaving. She couldn't unhear Merlins screams, his blatant display of power, the pleading look he had given her the day before. Begging her to stay safe, to forget him. 

She started to pace one her legs stopped shaking. There was rage building inside of her and her magic was rising with it. A terrible urge to turn her magic sharp and dangerous, to make deadly, invisible knives to throw at Uther. To plunge it through his heart, and see the horror in his eyes when he realized his own daughter wielded the thing he hated most. She would also take her knifed if pure power to Arthur’s neck, to remind him of his failures. He was supposed to be Merlin’s friend unconditionally, he was supposed to stand up for the boy like he had every time before. But he failed. He as good as sentenced Merlin himself. 

There was a knock on the door, probably her sweet Gwen waiting to be let in. She has lost a friend too, Morgana reminded herself. “Leave me, Gwen.” She said instead, truly wishing to be left alone. 

“It is Gaius, my Lady.” That made her freeze, she would have thought he had locked himself in his chambers. He had lost a son after all. She opened the door slightly to confirm it was indeed Gaius alone. 

“Please come in.” She could see the redness in his eyes. Her heart ached at the sight, in all her years here she had never seen Gaius cry. He had always been a steady presence in her life, but that was all changing now. 

“No thank you, my Lady. I only come to deliver this.” He held out a piece of parchment in shaking hands. “I must be on my way I have… things to attend to.” 

She took the parchment and clutched his hand in her own. “Thank you. You may go, I understand.” He gave a nod and went on his way. She quickly shut the door once more. Looking down at the letter in her hands, her name was signed in elegant script. One she had at one point thought was Arthur’s, she later learned that it was Merlin’s penmanship. What could this be?

She sat down at her vanity in the beam of sunlight, and opened the paper. It was a page filled with Merlins writing. A letter. 

_ Morgana, _

_ If you are reading this I must apologize, this means I have been killed by Uther. I leave this to you for my parting requests, there is nobody I trust more to carry them out.  _

_ First, please believe I am not really dead. You have heard my true name of Emrys, not many know what that means anymore, but it means I will not be so easy to kill. It is, however, a possibility and if that reality comes to pass I am sorry for leaving you so suddenly. Second, I must beg of you to spare Uther and Arthur. I will not ask for you to stay because I know that is something that must seem impossible, but whatever you choose to do now that I am gone. Let them live.  _

_ Arthur must become the next king, he is the one destined to lead Camelot into its golden age. If you are willing to stay, be his advisor, if you are not. Do not kill him.  _

_ Morgana whatever happens, if I am able I will come from you. I don't know if I can keep that promise, because I might truly be dead. If I cannot, all I ask is that you remember that the world comes in cycles. The cycle of magic will be renewed sooner than you think. _

_ Believe I will return, Morgana. You can't kill Emrys this easily.  _

_ Merlin. _

She put down the letter and wiped her eyes after the first tear fell, unwilling to mess up the ink. She made her way to the window to look out over the forest, she had always loved her room for the view. A life outside the castle is what she had always pictured. A life of freedom. 

She thought about what Merlin had written. His pleads for her to stay and spare her family's life. He had known what she wished to do, even dead he knew her impossibly well. No, Merlin was not dead. It was almost like he was the one who got flashes of the future rather than her, she hadn't seen a single glimpse of this day. Merlin had known exactly what would happen, or maybe he was just always prepared for the worst. That would be a very Merlin thing to do, plans upon plans. In a different way than Arthur did, but that same worry.

‘Do not kill him.’ The force he had written that with was visible, he was begging for her to spare Arthur. He said nothing of Uther’s life, though. 

She rose, looking out to see that it was already evening. Where had the day gone? She should be summoned for dinner any minute. Right then, there was a knock on the door. She opened it to reveal Gwen, who stood as timid as the first day she came under Morgana’s employment. 

“M’lady, the king requests your presence in the hall for the feast tonight. They are celebrating… celebrating Merlin’s death.” She had always known the two servants were close, once upon a time she had wondered about them. Not for a long while though, even a blind man could have seen where Merlin’s affections lay. “Shall I help you dress.” Without words she let the young women into her chambers, where Gwen busied herself with picked out an appropriate dress. 

Morgana noticed the letter still sitting out and quickly snatched it up, startling Gwen who asked no questions beyond a look as Morgana shoved it into a drawer and locked it once more. That was where books of magic and letters from Merlin were kept. Also about magic. Waiting till Gwen turned around, she hissed out the spell Merlin taught her to turn the key invisible. She then put that in another drawer.

“Did you say something, Morgana?” She shook her head and took the dress Gwen offered. Black. With golden beading and thread. A mourning outfit. She didn't have to see Gwen’s face, she knew it would be the picture innocents, but deep down this was spite. Spite against her king for killing her best friend. 

“Gwen?” She got a hum in response while her corset was laced. “I want to thank you, for everything. You have always made my life here bearable. Know that, no matter what happens, I will always be grateful I met you.”

“Morgana? What are you talking about? You speak like something bad will happen to you.” She twisted her black locks into an elegant updo and placed a heavy golden necklace around her neck. She waved it away and Gwen took it off.

“I just have a strange feeling. Could you find that one necklace, the green one?” Gwen nodded the the mirror and turned her back to go find it in her abundance of jewelry. Morgana pulled out her hidden key and from her drawer she pulled a simple necklace. One a druid had given her. It was a black gem set in gold, on the back it had runes of protection carved in. “Actually Gwen, I think I will wear this one.”

“I haven't seen this one before. A present from an admirer?” Morgana shook her head and stood. Pulling Gwen into a sudden hug.

“Thank you, truly.” Then she swept out the door down towards the hall for the feast. There would be a fascinating show tonight. She could not wait to see the outcome. 

**\--**

She entered the hall late, the guests were already seated. The entire council was there as well as the knights in their best. All to celebrate the death of a beloved servant. Someone everyone had like to some degree until he was changed, until he was burned. Merlin was not dead. He was not, he would come back and finish whatever he started. He would take her away from this place. 

She took her seat beside Arthur, who was staring mutely ahead. George came to refile the siblings goblets, a task Merlin would have done without much complaining. As well as commenting on the terrible conversations happening around her. “Morgana.” He greeted. “You look… lovely.” She could see the grimace on his face at her outfit, someone one would wear to a funeral not a feast. 

“Thank you, Arthur. I found it appropriate considering the days events.” His face tightened with something she could read. Anger most likely. 

“What are you playing at?” He hissed, leaning closer to prevent Other from overhearing. “That is a mourning outfit. We are here in celebration.”

“I refuse to celebrate the killing of an innocent man.” She hissed back, thoroughly enjoying the rage in Arthur's face.

“Merlin was not innocent. He was a liar and a sorcerer.” Interesting, liar came before sorcerer in Arthur’s mind. “It is better now that he is gone.” She had expected to hear those words tonight, but not from Arthur. She would have thought Arthur held some sort of remorse for the death of Merlin. Merlin is not dead, she told herself yet again. She had always thought there was something strange between them, but looking at her half brother now. She could not imagine why he would want to spare Arthur. He was nothing but another tyrant in the making. 

Instead of responding, she turned back to her wine and waited for Uther’s speech. He stood up and silence over took the hall, he started his speech with the traditional talk about how this was another evil sponged from Camelot. About the danger magic posed to their way of life, at one point it made her feel terrible. Then, it made her blood boil. Now, she couldn't even hear it over the roaring in her ears. She had to do this and she had to do it now. 

With a flick of her hand Uther was pinned to his chair. Gasps rang through the hall, she could see Gwen at the back with tears in her eyes. Gwaine’s expression of something that resembled glee. Lance’s horror. She stood, knowing her eyes were glowing gold like Merlin’s had that morning. Before they tied him to a pyre and let him burn. Merlin was not dead, she told herself, but he might be, she argued back. The slight possibility of Merlin not coming back was enough to stomp out any doubt she had, she had revealed herself. She had to make it count. 

Arthur tried to pull his sword but with another flick of her hand he was frozen in place. She hasn't decided if she would spare him or not. A single glare over the crowd left people sinking back into their seats and sheathing their swords. 

“Morgana! What is the meaning of this?” Uther’s face was turning purple as he struggled against her invisible bonds. He wouldn't break free though, not with the pure rage driving her.

“You killed an innocent man today.” Her voice was loud as it rang through the hall, projected by the power in her veins. “Merlin would never hurt anybody, yet you killed him. You killed him! You and you blind ignorance of the truth!”   
  


“He was a sorcerer!” Uther spit out. “He was a danger to all of Camelot.”

“No, Uther. The only danger to Camelot is you! Your hatred of what you don't understand. Your fear of the unknown. You are the poison that is seeping into Camelot day by day. Not magic.” She snarled. Raising her hand she willed her rage to harder into a tangible shape, a dagger. People gasped as she raised it above her head. “Merlin would never have done this, he believed you and Arthur could do better, but I know better.” She drove the dagger down, plugging it into his stomach. Feeling her father's blood warm her hands, she felt no regret for her actions. No remorse. He deserved this after all that have died by his hand. They were innocent, he was not.

She turned to Arthur a second too late, realizing that her concentration had wavered. Just long enough for Arthur to break free and raise his sword. She watched as it came down on her, looking at the runes inscribed on the blade. A blade forged in dragons breath Merlin had told her, Merlin had left such power in the hands of a murderer. 

The hilt of the sword met her temple and she collapsed, the word going dark.

\--

When she could open her eyes again she was in a cell. With iron chains clamped over her hands, suppressing her magic, and Arthur standing over her from the other side of the bars. She tried to push past the pain and free herself like Merlin had, instead something sliced into her skin. Turning her magic against her.

“Don't bother. We had more iron placed in this cell after what happened with Merlin, a place to keep powerful sorcerers.” He spat the word at her like an insult, instead she raised her chin. 

“If you saw what happened with Merlin, then you should know that iron can not keep us trapped forever.” This was the cell Merlin was held in. The freshly dried on the ground must have come from his wrists, soon hers will join his. 

Arthur looked down at her with pity in his eyes, she snarled and lunged at him only to be kept close to the wall by the chains. “Oh Morgana,” He cooed like he was talking to a wild animal, probably what they thought of her now. She had killed her father. “I will ask father to be lenient with you. I'll tell him Merlin corrupted, maybe he will let you live.”

“I would rather die than stay here!” He turned to walk away but she continued to scream at him. “How dare you dishonor his memory like this! He saved your life! He was your friend, Arthur! Merlin loved you and you killed him!” But he did not turn around, he left her alone in the damp dark cell. Tears rolled down her face and she could not wipe them away, she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to seem weak. She had to be strong, she had to get herself free, she had to avenge Merlin. And herself. And all other who had been locked in their final hours. 

Eventually she was forced to curl up on the dirty stone to sleep. She dreamt of nothing, for the first time ever she dreamt of nothing. And the one time she prayed for something. Why were the gods so cruel?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayeee chapter two here we go hope u love it

__Something large nudged his side. He batted a hand at it, expecting to find a broom with Gaius at the end of it, instead he met scales. He tried to sit up and almost screamed from the pain that shot through him.  _ “Rest young warlock, we did our best to heal your wounds but it will be a little longer before you are fully recovered.” _

“Kilgharrah?” His fingers pulled the grass up as he fought to open his eyes against the watery pain.

_ “Yes young warlock, we answered your call.”  _ He struggled to open his eyes, but once he could he saw the blurry image of the great dragon standing over him. 

He grunted as he sat up, looking down at his charred clothes and molten skin. He wasn't sure if even his magic could completely fix the damage done to his body by the fire. The images flashed in his mind: the burning red of the flames, Arthurs blank stare, Gaius’ red eyes… he shook away the memories. He took stock of his injuries. His legs were terribly burned, his skin black and twisted, but some of the pain had faded. He was finding it hard to take a deep breath, probably damage done to his lungs by the smoke. His wrists were stiff, the cuts had closed by thick bands of scars now wrapped them. That would be permanent. He would have to push his magic impossible far to fully recover from this, if he ever could.

“Thank you for coming Kilgharrah, I don't know if I would have recovered without your magic.” The dragon bowed.

_ “It was not just I who came, young warlock.”  _ Slowly, a small white dragon peaked out. Athiusa.  _ “I was on my way to you when I heard her cries, she had been trying to flee her capture to come to you. I saved her and brought her to you, she needs a dragonlord.” _

He reached out towards the small dragon and she skitted back. Her wings were pressed against her body and she was curled in on herself, not the mighty dragon she should have been. “I am sorry child, I failed you once before. Too distracted by fruitless quests, I hope you let me try to fix this?” He watched and watched before her head bobbed slightly and he nodded back. It was a start. "kilgharrah? What do I do now?"

_ "For now, you rest. There is a cave at the edge of this grove. Sleep now, we will return later.”  _ The dragon's deep voice rattled in his head, leaving behind a feeling of warmth as they two took flight. He watched till they were nothing more than specs in the sky, his dragons, before stumbling to find the cave.

He looked around the grove, these woods were unfamiliar to him. Not like the ones surrounding Camelot or the ones he played in at Ealdor. He wasn't sure where he was, but he could feel the magic seeping up through the ground. Flowing into his being as he absorbed more and more power. Kilgharrah said to go to the cave, but he was too tired. And the grass was so soft. He could just take a nap here. His knees sunk into the dirt, pulling him down deeper and deeper, the magic weighing him down. He thought about using his jacket as a pillow, but it was still ashy and smoke clung to it. The nature around him cradled his body as he slumbered. A true vessel of magic. 

—

He wasn’t sure how long he slept, he didn’t remember falling asleep, but he knew he wasn’t pleased to be awake. Being jerked awake by strange men in strange colors was not how he wanted to wake up anyways, the swords pointed at his face didn’t help. 

His magic rushed to his finger tips before he reigned it in, these men were knights not bandits, they might be able to help him. When the guards standing over him they called out for the rest of the man. He blinked, his eyes adjusting to the light.

A king came to him, he wore a crown on his head and his weaponry was decorated with grandeur. “You boy, how did you get those injuries?” 

He looked at his legs stretched out before him, still twisted and burned, but they no longer hurt. More a dull ache. How long had he been sleeping? “I was burned.” He said almost in a daze. He hadn't had time to comprehend everything that happened. 

“We found you sleeping in the dirt here with dragons watching over you.” So awhile if Kilgharrah and Athisua had come back. “Explain more.”

“Where am I?” He asked instead, he had to know he wouldn't be turned in for money. Were these allies of Camelot and he just couldn't remember? Would they try to burn him again, or would they just use a sword this time?

The king waved a hand in frustration and stalked off, watching the sky. Watching for dragons? A skinnier knight spoke up. “You are in the woods outside Mora, the capital city. How do you not know?” He ignored the knight in favor of trying to remember anything he could about Mora. They were not allies of Camelot, he's pretty sure there was a stripe of Bayards kingdom between them and Camelot. They had no borders. They were also friendly to magic users, supposedly, he had rumors otherwise but he knew they wouldn't burn him. 

“Bring your king over and I will tell you my story, in exchange for help, of course.” One of the other knights frowned at his sharp tongue but walked over to the king. Probably to explain Merlin’s demands. 

The king came over, took one look at his charred feet, and knelt down to his level. Something Uther would never have done, even Arthur wouldn't do this unless it was a beautiful maiden they found in the woods. He always took a liking to them. “Let us get introduced boy, before you tell me your story. I am King Cenred, and you are in my kingdom of Mora. My knights tell me you did not know where you were. Care to explain?” Morgause had worked with Cenred for a long time, until Morgana had stopped feeding them information and Cenred sent Morgause away. He really hoped he wouldnt remember him.

He met the kings icy gaze with nothing more than dull eyes, royals didn't scare him anymore. “My name is Merlin. I come from Camelot. I was the personal manservant to Prince Arthur for many years before a witch hunter came and outed me as a sorcerer. I was burned the next day, but I managed to use my magic to bring me somewhere new. Not fast enough, though.” He nodded to his burned skin, which the king did not look at.

“He outed you? So you are a sorcerer?” Merlin nodded, his throat still ached from the smoke. “And you managed to infiltrate Camelot without being detected as well as getting so close to the prince… impressive.” I felt like a dull knife twisting in his chest, he hadn't infiltrated anything. All he had done was to serve his prince, his friend, who turned against him in the end. So all Merlin’s effort had been for nothing, he was still Uther’s son. The hurt turned to ice, freezing over the wound that had been left by the kings words. “How did you manage to escape? That is very powerful magic.”

He couldn't deny the hungry look in Cenred’s eyes at the prospect of such power, but that's what all men yearned for. Power. Right now Merlin didn't care who wanted his power, he would even consider giving it. Anything was better than having to hide longer. “I am very powerful.” He said instead.

“And the dragons? They were believed to be dead after Uther’s purging.” Another stab, this one was more quickly frozen over. It would keep happening till he was turned to ice. That was ok.

“I am the last dragonlord. The Great Dragon, Kilgharrah, and the White Dragon, Athiusa, answer to me. I called her forth from her egg.” He felt guilty for speaking of the dragons as if they were his possessions, they weren't, but that was exactly Cenred wanted to hear. A wicked smile spread across his face and it called to something deep inside Merlin, something dark and horrible. Something he had been smothering for years. “I told you my story,” His voice stayed monotoned, bored, tired. “I asked for help in return.”

“Yes. That was our deal. What do you wish for, Merlin.” Something whispered to him, the earth pulling him to choices he would have never made himself. But the powers of the old religion wished it, and for once he was on board with their plans. 

He looked up from the ground, meeting the kings brown eyes with his gold ones. “My name is Emrys.” His voice was deeper, more demanding as he let himself become a vessel once more. “I was put on this earth as a vessel for magic, I am the druids savior and the most powerful warlock to walk the earth. I wish for a place to heal my body, and I wish for a way to bring Camelot to his knees.” The dark smile on his face was all Merlin, he wanted revenge. He wanted them to suffer like he had suffered. He wanted to make the world a better place, and working from the shadows of the Pendragon’s was not the way to do that. “And I think you can help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just finished writing chapter six so we might stick with i write a chapter i post a chapter which means posting schedule totally dependable on how quick i write 
> 
> i think i’ll apologize in advanced


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just some plot stuff

Merlin quickly climbed the ladder after he fully recovered, or as well as he ever could. Some of his skin was still mangaled from the fire, thick scars still encircled his wrists, but he no longer felt pain with the help of spells and healing potions. It was like the scars weren't there in a way, he could almost forget about them at times.

Kilgharrah and Athusia expressed their displeasure at this kingdom and its king, Merlin couldn't have agreed more. Cenred kept sorcerers like slaves, training them in brutal battle magic so he could one day have any territory he wanted. He tried to put Merlin through this, but he quickly proved once more that he was not an average sorcerer. He walked through the streets and druids bowed to him, he was constantly summoned by the king for knowledge of Camelot. And that quickly turned to just advice. Two months since he had left Camelot and he had made a lot of changes to Mora. He was now an advisor to King Cenred, which made Merlin a very powerful man. A welcomed change.

He stood on the edge of the field watching the sorcerers work, he couldn't convince Cenred to give up his magic army, but the magic users were treated much better now. Merlin not only taught them battle magic, he taught them how to focus on their strengths and use that. He taught them healing magic as best he could and he taught them how to connect more deeply with their magic. Many of them had lost that connection in the desolate routine Cenred had before he came. Merlin had begged him to let him teach the sorcerers, before he was even recovered enough to perform magic, he had seen the horrors they went through daily and yearned to help. 

“That's very good Freya, remember to feel your magic. You are one with it, you must trust it as it must trust you.” Freya was quickly becoming his best friend and best student. She was kind, and determined, and she refused to let he monstrous side be her only power. Cenred had kept her as a pet in a cage until Merlin found her, she had been tossed aside by the king he had much disdain for. 

The girl smiled and nodded, they all looked happier now he notices. When he turned to help another student, a young druid boy, the king came out. He didn't even have to turn from his perch on the fence, he could feel the joy sucked from the air. “How are they doing, Merlin?” 

When he turned to face his new king he couldn't deny something that pulled him to this cruel man, maybe it was the wickedness, maybe it was the desire for revenge, maybe it was the power Cenred gave him. Or maybe it was purely because the man was attractive. “They are getting stronger everyday, Sire. We have deepened their connections to their magic which makes their spells more power, as well as the enjoyment of learning magic again.” He got a side eye for the remark, but nothing violent. Just disbelief and amusement, much like Arthur. Except where Arthur's eyes might his veiled fondness and warmth, Cenred made no effort to hide his fondness, but there was no warmth. There was hunger instead. Right now Merlin craved the sharp edges and the ice, warmth wouldn't get him where he wanted to go. 

“Good. You have helped improve this kingdom, but you must keep me updated as we continue to grow stronger.” He nodded, turning back to his students. “Merlin.” Cenred said after a few minutes of watching training.

“Yes, Sire?” Neither of them looked away from the training field.

“Will you come to my rooms for dinner tonight?”

“Yes, Sire.” He responded without looking up. He heard the king leave and retreat back to his castle, he never trained with his knights. He trained alone, and never ever with a sorcerer. “You may leave now.” He said to the students before walking off, he wasn't sure if they heard but they would figure it out soon enough, he made his way to the clearing in the woods he had first landed in. The blood that had soaked the dirt infused it with magic, making everything wild and lush. It was his favorite place in the kingdom. 

“Kilgharrah! Athisua!” His voice rang out in the language of dragons, he wouldn't be shocked if it could be heard back in Camelot.

Him and the dragons had a system, a couple times a week he would call them to this clearing and he would work with Athiusa. Now they she trusted him they were working on her speech and flight. She concerningly small and unsteady on her wings, she ever struggled to breath fire at times. When they weren't working together Kilgharrah would take her somewhere else, somewhere up in the mountains where they were unbothered. His dragons did not trust his new king yet and Cenred did not trust them. More than a few questions had been asked about his control over the dragons, what he could order them to do. Cenred viewed them as a weapon which Merlin did not appreciate, so he left them alone in the mountains until he needed them. 

The dragons landed, Athiusa had improved greatly, now able to fly long distances. “Merlin,” Kilgharrah spoke out loud. “What is your plan? I do not like this kingdom.” 

“Oh, cause you’ve never told me that before.” He glared at the old reptile who glared back. “Ack. You’re terrible. If you must know, I have been training Cenred’s sorcerers in magic. They are getting stronger and are no longer treated as slaves. I have their loyalty, when we invade Bayard’s kingdom I will stand by their sides and we will decimate them.” The dragon huffed. 

“This is not your destiny, young warlock.” Oh here we go again. “You are meant to stand beside the once and future king, guide him to the new golden age.”

“Well incase you didn't realize, Camelot burned me. They tried to kill me. Arthur tried to kill me! I can't lead him to some mythical golden age, not anymore! Camelot abandoned me, I hold no sympathy for them.”

_ “What about the Lady Morgana?”  _ He jumped at Athiusa’s voice in his head, she still did not speak out loud, but she did speak.  _ “The Lady Morgana has not abandoned you yet.”  _

“I heard about what Morgana tried to do, she attempted to murder Uther and exposed her magic. They probably killed her.” Sorrow burned in his chest, Morgana being dead made him feel more alone than ever. 

_ “You would know if the Lady Morgana had died. She is to be a high priestess, she will not pass yet.” _

_ “ATHIUSA!”  _ Kilgharrah’s voice boomed so loudly in both their heads he flinched. He watched as the white dragon shrunk in on herself, scared and lost.

“Kilgharrah! Leave us now!” This wasn't a request, this was an order, he was ordering Kilgharrah to leave. He could not be here while he spoke with Athiusa. He watched as the dragon tried to fight it, a battle of wills. Merlin didn't stand down and with one last snarl Kilgharrah flew off, silent, something strange for the old dragon. 

“Athiusa?” He held his hand out trying to calm her shaking figure. “Aithusa? It's ok, I sent him away. We don't have to call him back unless you want to. Ok?”

_ “I thought you knew the prophecy?”  _ He felt his heart crack at her shaking voice, but his head was distracted by the statement.

“The prophecy? Kilgharrah has told me a million times, I am supposed to guide Arthur to the golden age of Camelot. Eventually, Morgana and Mordered will turn against him so I must be wary.”

_ “That's not the prophecy.”  _ His breath caught. Had Kilgharrah been lying to him this whole time? Was he not supposed to save Arthur? Had it all been a ploy to make sure Merlin released him.  _ “The prophecy says that Arthur is the Once and Future King and you, Emrys, are supposed to guide him.” _

“Then what did Kilgharrah say that wasn't true?”

_ “The Lady Morgana and the druid boy Mordered, their fates are not set in stone like you and Arthur. Your souls are one, they can be saved. Is that not why you have helped the Lady Morgana?”  _

“I… no. I helped Morgana because I was hoping I could change the prophecy, Kilgharrah said I should kill her before her powers were realized.” He felt like the entire world was spinning and falling apart. The prophecy that had guided him for the last five years… hadn’t been fully true. 

_ “No, you cannot kill her. She is to become a High Priestess who is crucial in the rise of the Old Religion, much like you and Arthur. You must keep her on the path of light, Emrys. She often walks the line.” _

“Why would Kilgharrah lie to me?” He had trusted the old dragon so much, his father's dragon was now the one guiding him. He thought the dragon would never lie to him, dragonlord or not.

_ “Revenge against Uther, take his daughter take his son. Just like how he believes Nimuah took his wife.”  _

He sat down in the grass with a sigh and slowly Athiusa inched forward. “I thought I knew the prophecy too, I thought I was going to save Arthur.”

_ “You seem very worried about the young prince, yet you have a plan to decimate him.”  _ Her voice was quizzical, which made sense, she was a child. She didn't understand yet, what Merlin was doing, he was sure he did either. 

“Uther cannot stay in power any longer and with me and Morgana gone Arthur has no positive influences on the views of magic.” He thought of Gaius, but he was too concerned with serving Uther.

_ “Yet you plan to attack, use magic as a weapon. Assert your power as Emrys rather than try the method of peace.” _

“Uther laughed in the face of peace, burned innocent people alive for small accusations. He tried to burn me alive, Arthur did too. Sometimes you can't achieve peace without rebellion first.” He wrapped his arms around his legs and propped his head on his knees.

He watched as Athiusa slunk forward, her scales shimmering blue, until they were eye to eye.  _ “You are kind, Emrys.  _ _ Your heart of black ice will do good for the world. Freeze it over and melt it anew.”  _

Her words made no sense, but he chose not to dwell on them right now. He instead watched with a proud smile as she launched her small body into the air and took off towards the mountains. He knew right then he would do anything to keep her from harm. He would never let anyone see the dark clouds of a purge again. For now, he had to have dinner with a cruel king.  _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter isn’t very long i promise it’ll get juicer as we go but i think i said last time my writing to posting schedule is all dependent on writing so


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: this chapter contains depictions of violence

The burning was a welcomed feeling now, when the metal burned her it chased away the chill of smothered magic. Right now, she stood at the top of the tower she had been moved into. Blood dripped from where the scars on her neck reopened and drops splattered the stones below her wrists. She hadn't used her magic, she stopped trying three months ago. Instead, tonight she had woken up screaming in pain. Her body was alight with power her eyes burning a dark gold. Something called her up here, leading her to the secret staircase behind furniture. Pulling her up through the narrow, winding stairs until she felt sick. Then, she hit fresh air, something she hadn't had since Uther tired of her pain. 

She looked past the castle and the lower towns to the forest, the night was cold and silent with the wind tearing through the thin fabric covering her. The sky was black, no moon or stars to be seen, they were all waiting for snow.

She took another step towards the edge, the walls barely reached her hips, this tower was an old one. She could feel the magic embedded in the stones, Uther had not scared it yet. Another drop of blood ran down her chest. Why was she called here? Blood dropped onto the stone. Why had this tower been locked away her entire life? Skin dragged across the gorgues in the stone. What had left these marks? The swallowing emptiness opened up her again. How far was the drop from here to the ground? How easy would it be to take one more step? Climb up onto the wall and sway in the wind, letting nature decide her faith? So simple.

“No!” A voice roared in her ear, then she was engulfed in warmth rather than wrapped in chill. They were suspended in midair and someone's arms were wrapped around her. She opened her eyes and looked at her… savior.

She saw Merlin.

That shocked her out of whatever trance she had been in, jolting up and realizing her surroundings. They were on a dragon and Merlin had caught her. She looked up, she was half way down the tower. She had been falling before he caught her.

She looked up again in his eyes, their normal blue, no golden power. She threw her arms around his neck on the verge of tears and doubting if this was a dream or not. But it felt real. He felt real and solid, he had come back from her. His arms came up around her until she stopped shaking as the weight of what just happened. Eventually, with powerful wing stroke the floated up until the dragons huge claws dug into the stone, so that's where the marks came from. 

Her thinner frame was easily lifted from the beast, until she was far away from the ledge. Her hands held Merlins wrists still to stop them from prodding her injuries. "Merlin." Her voice was a whisper.

His long fingers came to rest on her cheek. "I'm here, I'm here Morgana. We are going to leave." A sob ripped through her, it had been so long she had begun to think he wasn't coming back, maybe he had really died or maybe he just wasn't coming to save her. But Merlin was here, with a dragon, here to take her to a safe place. Away from Camelot, and Uther and his reign of terror. Her body flagged against him as she tried to steal his warmth. Her rasped something into her hair and a feeling of home came over her, warmth, peace, and safety. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. Safe. 

“I thought… I thought you left me. I thought you were dead! You were just gone, Merlin! You left-” His hand came over her mouth and he pulled her back into the shadows. 

“And I’m still dead, cloaking a dragon is hard work and you shouting and attracting all the guards attention won't help.” She nodded and he released her. He tapped the iron that encircled her. “Would you like me to take them off?”

“Yes, yes please please, Merlin. Take them off, I don't care how much it hurts, take it off.” She could feel tears rising again, she missed her magic so dearly. He nodded and clasped his hands around her right wrist, wincing as such an evil material touched his skin. He didn't say anything, he sat there with his eyes screwed shut in concentration. She could feel his magic reaching for hers, smashing at the barrier that the iron made. She pushed her magic towards him, trying to break down the wall between them. Pushing. Pushing. Pushing. Until she felt the brick crumbles.

Warmth flooded her as Merlin's magic filled her, joining her own, she could feel how endless his was. A deep well of power that spiraled straight down into the earth. His hands were bleeding, her eyes followed the ruby trails to the thick bands of pale scars against his already pale skin. She feared for her beauty if she scarred like that. Brutally.

His hands wrapped around her other wrist, their blood mingling. Her magic felt like the dead of winter, when just touching the ice could cause you to lose your fingers. Merlin took a breath, like a man dying of thirst getting water. His eyes biomed gold again with renewed vigor. This time she pushed with her magic from the start, pulling from his endless well to strengthen her own against the iron. The metal crumbled to ash beneath his fingers under the combined forces of their magic. 

He reached for her neck but she raised a bleeding hand before grasping it. She took all the rage and anger and power that had been building up inside her for the past season and used it like a battering ram. 

At the first hit she dented the wall, at the second it was ready to crumble, by the third it was falling. Her magic leapt into the air with Merlin’s, free at last. 

She watched in awe of his power once more as he healed her wounds and her scars almost faded out. Energy she hadn't felt in ages filled her, it must have been hope. Merlin spoke to the dragon, Kilgharrah was the name he used, telling him to go to the woods and stay out of sight. Wait for his call and stay safe. Were they not bearing right away? 

As if he heard her thoughts, maybe he did, he answered. "You can go with Kilgharrah and wait for me if you wish, but my business here is not complete. I assumed you’d wish to join me for revenge."

"You assumed right. I have stuff to gather. What do you need?"

Excalibur. That what he needed. A sword forged in dragons breath he gifted to Arthur with his blessing. The only sword that could kill him, or a high priestess. The most deadly weapon in existence. And he gave it to Uther and Arthur. She wacked him upside them head then lead him into her new chambers. They gathered her items, objects of magic and gold that she had collected and hidden, then Merlin put them into his bag which seems to hold objects infinitely. 

White fog spread from Merlin's hand and seeped out the door, two thunks later and they walked out to the passed out guards, she wanted to learn that. She slipped off her slippers in an attempt to move without the bells Uther had sewn on. He always wanted to know where she was, like an animal. 

They made their way through the halls towards Arthur’s chambers with Merlin deady smoke silence any guards they passed. The servants were asleep or they met the same fate, it seemed Merlin didn't trust his old friends. She worried for the fate of Gwen should they run across her. Not that Gwen cared for her, she was always either sneaking around with Arthur or standing silently behind Morgana. There was no friendship anymore, just unwilling servitude. 

Leon was outside Arthurs room tonight, that must mean Gwen is in there, his trusted knights only guarded his chambers when the two wanted a night together. She tried to warn Merlin, but that smoke was already forcing its way into Leon's lungs. She felt no pity. 

Merlin opened the door without making a sound, simply nudging his old friend out of the way to get to Arthur. And Gwen. She knew Merlin would never hurt her, they had been the best of friends once upon a time. She had always been jealous of their relationship, romantic or not, she never knew.

He froze, blocking her from the room, but she knew what he had seen already. Arthur and Gwen wrapped together in the large bed. Holding each other so close they might as well be one mass under the blankets. Merlin must have known they were together, it wasn't a new development. Maybe he had feelings for Gwen? Whatever it was, it made Merlin’s movements sharp and dangerous. He moved with a new level of efficiency, Morgana wasn't sure where his head was but she could tell it was somewhere dangerous. He moved across the floor like he was dancing, or fighting, stepping and twirling around any mess the pair had left. Anything that would make noise. He knew when to step, when to duck, what to avoid. He knew Arthur’s chambers well and there was nothing more dangerous than an opponent on their homeland.

She had barely move when he was pulling Arthurs prized sword from the cupboard beside his bed. Nothing in his routine had changed since Merlin left, that means Merlin was a thousand times more dangerous with his knowledge of Arthur. It filled her with joy, one she reveled in despite the guilt she felt. Wishing pain and death upon her blood. 

He stood over Arthur, pulling the sword from its sheath, yet she felt no fear. Merlin would not kill Arthur in his sleep and he would not kill Gwen at all, if he wanted to fight them it would be on the battlefield. She could see it in his eyes. A look Uther wore every time Camelot went to war. 

The engraving shone in the darkness and she realized she could read the runes. Take me up. Take up your sword against the injustice of your father, Arthur. Rise up cast in gold and call magic back to your lands. Cast me away. Cast away your destiny. Follow the fallen into the darkness until there is no light for you to follow back. Cast away the light that was made to guide you, made for you. Walk into the silver night and ignore the golden day of peace. 

Merlin breathed onto the sword, blowing magic across its sharp edge. The soft gold that seemed to emanate from it turned dangerous. It was a sharpened icicle ready to be wielding to its masters bidding. But who was its master now? Arthur? Uther? Merlin? Excalibur was one thing they had all wielded, but only one knew its true strength and power. 

She wanted Merlin to be the one to wield Excalibur. There was nobody else she trusted with such might. Also, as long as he had the sword he could not be killed. Then, all she had to do is make herself unkillable. 

“Its beautiful.” He probably couldn't hear her, not when she tried to keep her voice as low as possible. But he looked up and smiled at her, a glimpse of the life before this mess. When his sunny smile captivated her along with the rest of the castle. 

Arthur shift, moving closer to Gwen, a flash of hurt marred Merlin’s face but he didn't falter. Placing the scabbard back in place he headed back towards her. They were done here. And she couldn't be more thankful. 

They stepped outside and Leon was gone. How had she not heard him awake? Panic shook her to her very core, so violently she froze and Merlin had to jerk her back to reality. They darted into the tower, none of the guards had woken up yet, but Merlin still moved swiftly up the stairs. How would the dragon know they were ready to go? What would they do if Leon was waiting for them? Would they kill him? Could she kill him? 

Leon had been such a huge part of her life since she came to Camelot, he was always Arthur’s right hand but he was never anything but gracious when it came to her. She always held much respect for those men because they were so far and few, she held the same respect for Merlin in his own right. But when they opened the door to the sky, it wasn't just Leon waiting for them.

**\--**

The person who awaited them as Merlin threw open the door was the one person she could stomach killing. She knew it.

Uther stood there, Leon a step behind but she disregarded him almost immediately, her father wore his decorative armor. Heavy and bejeweled. His sword hung at his side, she had had nightmares about that sword striking her down for years. She didn't know if those were her own fears or her future. She wanted to shrink back, to let Merlin protect her, but she knew Uther would kill Merlin and keep her. And even if he couldn't be killed he could be injured and she couldn’t stand to hear Merlin’s pain like that again. 

“We burned you. Demon!” He shouted, raising his sword point to Merlin but the once servant didn't falter. It made her wonder where he had gone, what had taught him to wield the sword so thoughtlessly.

"I am no demon, Uther Pendragon, only you have brought enough pain and suffering to be thought of as so evil." Recognition of the sword flashed in the king's eyes. She watched as rage overtook him, causing him to charge at Merlin.

Their swords met in a clash of metal and her eyes fell on Leon. He raised his sword, she didn't know if it was fondness or fear, but his sword started to drop. With a twitch of her neck he was flying back into the stone walls, falling limp and staying there this time. 

She watched Uther and Merlin fight, Uther was putting all his strength to try and overpower him, but Merlin hadn't even broken a sweat. Merlin's eyes met hers, he seemed bored, his eyes turned gold and Uther's sword fell from his hand. Merlin advanced on him until Uther was backed up against the guard house.

"You're weak. You can't beat me. You're weak! I'll kill you! I'll tie you up and let you burn beside each other!" Uther rose into the air and slammed into the wall. She watched calmly as he clawed at his own throat. His face turning purple with lack of oxygen.

Merlin stood in front of her silently and turned Excalibur's hilt towards her. She grabbed it and a cry of outrage echoed through her head. Uther was now on his knees choking and trying to take in air. The look she was given was clear, 'do what you want with him, I won't judge you for it.' 

She stalked forward, using raw magic to hold him still on his knees at her feet. A position she had been forced into when she had been caged in iron. A look of disgust marred Uther's face, disgusted by her. Jabbing the sword point against his neck hard enough to draw blood she saw that disgust change to fear. She had already tried to kill him once, she had already tried to poison him, overload her magic and explode. He knew she would kill him, that's what she was going to do.

“You call us demons, but you preach death and destruction. You have taken the lives of thousands, burned and beheaded them, you have ruined so many lives. You ruined my life the second you took me in. No, you ruined my life when you sent my father to die. I’m only returning the favor.” 

She raised the sword to bring it down upon him, to strike him and purge the stain of his darkness from the world. But he hand shook. And she could see tears in his eyes. The sword quivered as she fought to keep it from dropping to her hip. Uther deserved this, he deserved worse than this. If it was up to her he would be tied up and whipped and burned in the square. Humiliated like he had humiliated so many people.

The sword clattered against the stone and the magic binding him fell away as she sagged. “I knew it.” He spat. “You can't kill me. You're weak. You are my blood, Morgana, like it or not, I am your father. I am going to take you both and kill this demon once and for all. And I'm going to make you watch. Then I'm going to have a dress of iron made for you until I can purge the magic from you.” Uther’s voice turned soft, the father she had always craved. “I can save you from this poison, Morgana. I can reverse what he did to you. I can save you. We can cure you.”

Magic surged out and grabbed Uther by the neck, dangling him over open air. As he writhed in the air she spoke, low and deadly. “I don't need a cure, there is nothing to save me from anymore. The only thing that was poisoning me was you. You wont hurt anyone anymore!” She let him drop. There was no noise, no screaming, until she heard the crunch of his body hitting the ground. 

She stood there for a long time, waiting for something to happen. No guards came running, no explosions, no castles collapsing. Uther was dead and the world kept on functioning. Merlin appeared at her left, no long sharp and deadly and cold, he was all shadows and light and warmth. 

“We have to go, Morgana. We need to leave before someone finds him.” She nodded mutely, but they both just stood there looking at the city. What was going to happen next? What had Merlin built for himself over the past season? She took a resolute breath before him, she was ready to leave Camelot behind. She would let it burn without second thought now that Arthur would be sitting on the throne. 

"Arthur..." Merlin's voice sounded fragile and broken, a tone so rarely heard she almost didn't believe it. Then again, he had always seemed to feel responsible for Arthur's actions. Always playing advisor and confidant as well as servant and friend.

"Has Gwen. He’s strong and she makes him stronger. They will be ok." Deep down she didn't want them to be ok, she wanted their relationship to crumble and bring Camelot down with it. She took the sour look on Merlin's face as agreement, and wondered once again if he could hear her thoughts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyy another chapter. i’m trying to crank through chapter 8 to get another one out soon but i’m reaching the plot soon!!! pls kudos and comment i love ur feedback


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new chapter?? yes enjoy it’s makinf me mad

Morgana fit into Mora perfectly, Cenred was charmed by her and she had been royalty long enough to not be disgusted by him. She didn't exactly approve of his relations with Cenred, but only because she found his personality so revolting. Merlin did too, after a over a year here he still couldn't stand how he talked about people. How he talked about Arthur, how he talked about Gwen, his dragons, his mages. They were all inferior to Cenred, either they were a weapon at his disposal or they were a plaything for him to us the weapons on. 

They strolled through the halls side by side as they returned from their ride. They had been fruitlessly searching for a unicorn. Merlin wore a billowing white shirt tucked into black tonsures. Morgana wore the same. People didn't cower as they strolled into the hall and knelt at Cenred's feet. But they probably should have. 

"Merlin, Morgana. I have a gift for you." He met the kings eyes but didn't speak. Cenred had gotten crueler in the time Merlin spent there. He seemed much more interested in the warrior part of his magic, how much dragon scales can withstand, if there was a way for him to harness the dragonlord magic. He want concerned though, he had the people's trust not Cenred. If it came down to it Merlin could take over as king, not that he wanted to. 

“What is it?” Morgana spoke first, Merlin chose to be the silent presence at her side reminding the councilors how deadly the pair were. He always enjoyed terrifying nobles, even back in Camelot. 

“Arthur Pendragon is getting married.” He swore he almost died right then. Every emotion that could be had he felt in those moments. “To a Geinever.” He grit his teeth, glad he opted to stay silent. Though he didn't miss the little smirk on Cenred’s face. 

“And you’re sending us in your place.” He sneered. It wasn't a question, he knew how Cenred thought. He knew what he wanted. He knew this was the most effective way to do it. Cenred nodded and Merlin bowed his head and looked up with a predatory smile, and it wasn't even faked. “Better give him a little warning.”

“He knows, you leave in two days time. I have arranged for you to stay at Bayard’s kingdom for a night than finish the trip with his caravan.”

“How lovely, this way we can solidify alliances.” Morgana spoke with a honey sweet voice, one promising death to Bayard.

“Not this time, my dear.” He could almost hear Morgana grinding her teeth. “Another time, this is the time to make friendly with Bayard. He is still very loyal to Camelot despite Uther having died a year ago. If we are friends with him it will be harder for Arthur to deny you two. Not that he will. A witch and a servant, strange people for him to have a soft spot for. We will use it.” He resisted the urge to roll his eyes before remembering they wanted to use that to their advantage. Then, his mind was full of evil twisted ways they could use this particular weakness. 

“We will go prepare for the journey right away. I plan to leave at first light so we must wrap up duties today.” Then he turned and left the room without a dismissal from Cenred. Morgana followed him without another world. To remind Cenred as powerful as he was he was not their king.

\--

If he thought the stay in Bayard's kingdom was bad, being fawned over by servants he worked with once, he was not prepared to see Camelot cresting over the hill. Him and Morgana sat side by side astride their horses watching the waving red flags. They were attending Arthur's wedding. His marriage to Gwen was days away from being official. She was going to be queen of Camelot.

Frost burned his chest in the soft, spring air. Digging his heels in the horse rode forward towards the city. He eventually heard Morgana follow him, but his heart was frozen solid. He will Sit through Arthur's wedding, we will forward his own plans and Cenred's. And he would show Arthur just how hard he is to kill. 

People cleared the way as Bayard rode in, then Merlin and Morgana, then the servant’s he had brought along, then the two Cenred had sent with them. He braced himself for the whispers, they were something he was well accustomed to in his life. In Elador he was the kid with magic, the one who was different and unnatural. Then he was the princes manservant. Then he was Emrys. Then he was a fearsome general. Whispers were something he knew well, he knew Morgana knew them well too. He had learned to use the gossip to his advantage. Everyone in Camelot would know he was here before they arrived at the palace doorstep. Arthur couldn’t hide them or send them away. They were Cenred’s generals and now the people knew it. 

Bayard’s knight fell back. “You two seem to be the talk of the town. We heard the rumors of the Lady Morgana’s disappearance and Uther’s jump out of grief but… this sure is an entrance.” He had nothing but good cheer in the statement. Probably some strange twisted tale they had created. Lovers running away together. Some sketchy deal between Uther and Cenred involving Morgana. Who knew what people had decided. All he knew was that these people had seen him burn, and now he was looking down on them in a nobles finest. Alive. 

Arthur stood on the stairs with Gwen beside him. He was draped in red and gold. A rich deep cloak set his crown of sunlight on fire. It was the color of fresh blood, he had never seen it like that before, he had always seen it as Arthur’s color. He looked at the blue coat he had been given. It was gorgeous, as deep as lake Avalon or the sky at dusk. Cenred had it embroidered with golden dragons, he claimed it was the same shade Merlin’s eyes turned. Morgana wore a jacket of the same cute but in a deep forest green with silver accents. To match the circlets Cenred made them wear. He hated them, he wasn't nobility, he was a general. He would lead them into war from a dragons back, but he wasn't nobility. 

He dismounted after Bayard, he looked towards Morgana in shock that they've gone without a sword at their throats. Then he felt a cool line fell across his neck. Good thing Morgana was still astride her horse.

"Who are you?" He almost collapsed as a tongue of fire beat the ice walls he had trapped his heart in. Arthur.

He put his hands up. "I'm Emrys, top general under King Cenred. If you will take your sword away from my throat, I'm holding no weapons.”

The metal was pulled away and a rough hand turned him around. Nose to nose with Arthur. The prince, no king, had his face practically against Merlin’s studying him. Looking for a sign, something to prove… to prove… he wasn’t sure what Arthur was looking for really. 

“He burned you.” He felt his muscles tense, but Arthur seemed to be speaking to himself. “You’re dead. Am I hallucinating?” 

He took a forceful step back. “My burning was just another one of Uther’s many failures.” He watched Arthur straighten, slipping back into the role of a king with people watching as he sheathed his sword. 

“It is my pleasure to welcome all of you to Camelot, my manservant George will show you all to your chambers. Please feel free to ask him any questions you may have. Now, if you will excuse me I have a council meeting to attend. I will see you all at dinner tonight when more people arrive.” Then he took his leave, retreating quickly to the court yard with Leon at his side. The knight had been silent. Interesting. 

They bowed to Gwen as they passed and she curtsied back, her and Morgana shared a long look before Morgana followed behind him. He avoided her eyes, he didn’t think he could face her. Gwen was his best friend once upon a time, almost filling the hole caused by Will. Now it was wide open again.

He follows George silently, neither servant speaking, because Merlin wasn’t a servant anymore. He was no longer the boy George was always trying to steal a job from. He was a foregin general, someone who George had to respect, and it was so fucking weird. 

“This will be General Emrys’ room.” He could see the tightness in the mans face and fought to keep it off his own. “The Lady Morgana will be staying next door.”

“General Pendragon, George.”

“Of course, my sincerest apologies General.” She nodded, his respect for her grew. The ability to fluidly change between lives and roles impressed him greatly. He felt like he was caged in walls of fragile ice and inside him was crumbling and all he could do was reinforce the walls to keep everything out. 

“It is no trouble, General Emrys and I will take our leave, but could you please take them along and show them how the castle works?” She beckoned the two servants forward. There were young, much younger than he was when he came to Camelot. 

George bowed his head and continued to show Bayard and the knights to their quarters. The moment his luggage hit the floor he sent the servants away, he couldn't bear to look at them. Not when he had done these jobs beside them only a few years ago. He started searching the room, he want sure for what though. There was no magic in Camelot, there would be no poultices no curses waiting. Nobody even knew who he was until he showed up today. There was no reason for someone to come after Cenred or his generals, not since Morgause brought Morgana to their side long ago.

Morgana strolled into his room from behind a tapestry as he stored his stuff. "I found a secret passage."

"I can see that. I never knew that one existed."

She lay down on the bed. "It needed a magical push to get it open. I think these rooms were created for court sorcerers when the castle was first built." He sat down beside her, uncaring if the finery was wrinkled. 

"How ironic, considering we were the court sorcerers in our time. Just illegally." They broke out in laughter until she sat up to look him dead in the face.

"You talk like own time has already come? Merlin, we are in Camelot. We aren't just in Camelot, we are honored guests! Arthur, King Arthur, personally welcomed us. It is our time now more than ever." she grabbed his hands and pulled him to the window. "No longer are you a servant forced to follow around that stuck up prat. You are Emrys! You are the most powerful person to walk the earth. And you are no longer trapped in this stifling kingdom."

"Neither are you, Morgana. You are so close to becoming a high priestess. You aren't Uther's pet, or Arthur, or Morgauses, or Cenred. I may be powerful but I am nothing without you at my side. We built a life for ourselves outside of Camelot, one full of magic. You're right, it's truly our time now."

"See, You get it. I was going to go for a ride. Would you like to come?"

He shook his hand and released her hands. "I must go see Gaius, I remember him to make very strong pain relievers. Would you like a sleeping draught, milady?" She wacked his shoulder, he finally understood why the knights did it.

"Don't you go falling into old habits like that. I will see you later for the feast, it will be a strange one." He bid her goodbye and she disappeared behind the tapestry once more. Off to see Gaius. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it’s taken me days to get this posted cause it’s difficult


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i’m sorry it’s been so long, but i just finished my exams and am hoping to get some work done on flights coming up

He kept his face blank as he walked through the halls, it wasn't hard. Neither was ignoring the servants and knights he passed, they ignored him too. He was worried there would be a strong feeling of pain when he returned, but there was nothing: all the years he had spent in Camelot meant nothing to him now. He enjoyed his new life, the power and freedom, there was never a time he could remember being happier.

"Gaius?" He pushed open the door to see the old psychian buried in a book trying to block out the world. "Gaius." He said again.

Before he knew it he was being pulled into a hug. One he melted into. "I had heard the rumors you were back. I knew you survived the moment there wasn’t a body to pull down. Then when Morgana vanished and someone claimed they saw a dragon. I knew you were alive Merlin. But why would you come back?" He was now being held at arm's length and studied. The years he had been gone were visible on the mans face.

"I ended up in Cenred's kingdom, I'm his general now with Morgana. He sent us to the wedding in his place." It was surreal being back in his old chambers. Gaius was the one person he had missed from Camelot.

"Oh my boy, it's so good to see you well. But I fear Arthur will retaliate in some way. He did not take your betrayed well."

"Did he come after you?" Merlin swore right then and there if anyone had looked to Gaius in retaliation for his actions he would kill them. Screw any sort of peace treaty or friendships.

"No. Uther stopped anyone who would have tried, by the time you two killed him it had been forgotten." He nodded, everyone could keep their lives. For now. 

“We didn't-” Gaius raised his eye brow and Merlin fell silent. “He fell. Gravity killed him.”

“Hm well. Be as it may Uther is dead and Arthur is king. Let’s just hope its better this way.”

“You know it is.” Gaius made another noise and turned away from him. “I didn't actually just come to catch up, I need a potion.” Gaius turned back to him with shock written on his face.

“What ever for? I can practically smell the magic coming off you. Shouldn't that deal with… well everything?” He chose not to speak, just sit down on the bench and started to take off his boots. Then his socks. Then he rolled up his trousers. There was a gasp of Gaius, he was used to the pity. He got it from Morgana, from Cenred, from their own court physician. “Oh Merlin…” He looked down at the burns that covered his legs and stretched up to his hips. 

“Do you have something to relieve pain? A tonic or a slave? My magic can only do so much.” Gaius nodded and busied himself with measuring and chopping herbs. He wondered if he would infuse it with magic, he never did it before because he claimed it to be too dangerous but it's not like they had a secret to keep now.

They didn't speak, Merlin lay there with his burn scars exposed to the air, sometimes he hissed if he moved too suddenly. Normally he had heavy spells to keep the pain at bay as well as magical and normal medicine. He was too tired today, and he hadn't packed enough for traveling. It hurt really bad, he was in so much pain and riding a horse for that long didn't help. 

“Gaius.” Before he could make himself move Arthur had thrown open the door and strolled in, he wasn't ready for the feast yet. He probably came straight from training. “I need to talk to you about…” He trailed off when he saw Merlin laying there. “You.”

“Oh how kind, the king thinks of me.” His voice was dry and taunting, something reminiscent of what they once were. “Go ahead, talk about me. I’ll pretend I can't hear you.”

“What happened to you?” Arthur’s voice was harsh, a tone he almost never took with Merlin. With anybody. It was full of accusations and blame. Like it was Merlin’s fault he got burned so badly. Something dark and cold rose up in him. Sharp and cutting, like ice against you face.

“What happened to me? I’ll tell you what happened to me. Your bastard father tried to burn me alive for being born.” He stood up, ignoring the pain in his feet until he was nose to nose with Arthur. “Is it pretty? Do you like the way my mangled skin looks? Does it give you satisfaction? Or do you feel sadness and anger, all your effort and you still couldn't kill me. Uther couldn’t either. Even when I was laying half dead in the forest with my clothes melted to my skin I laughed. Because you failed.”

Arthur did not respond as Merlin struggled not the limp to the bench, or when he took the potion Gaius gave him in one gulp. Or when his head fell back against the table because it was infused with magic. His eyes were closed in bliss when he heard the door shut, Arthur had gone. 

“I think you made an impression on him.” He didn't move from his position as he felt Gaius’ skilled hands rub salve into the skin. Something Cenred would do this for him. 

“Good. I’m not his servant anymore.” 

“I think you made it very clear that you aren’t anything to him anymore. He won't take that well.”

“I stopped meaning anything to him when he had me burned alive, he stopped meaning anything to me when I saw him from the pyre. King Arthur Pendragon can suck my dick.” Gaius laughed which made Merlin smile before he drifted off into sleep. 

\---

He woke up back in his bed, his old bed, the small rickety one that felt like a block of stone on his back. He found his boots and pulled them on, rushing out of the physicians chambers. Gaius wasn't there. Was he already late for the feast? He was a foregin general now, he couldn’t be late, he couldn't leave Morgana there alone.

He burst through his door to see her waiting on the bed already dressed, wearing a tight fighting green gown the same color as the jacket she arrived in. “Where were you?” She shouted at him as he started stumbling around trying to get everything off.

“I fell asleep! Gaius didn't wake me!” He cast a spell to summon the clothes he needed to him and they landed in a heap on the bed which he rushed to put on. 

“Comb your hair!” She threw the comb at him while he was pulled his boots on. Another flash of gold and it was yanking itself through his hair, painfully. “We are going to be late, Merlin.”

“Thank you Morgana, really helpful.” He stood up to grab his sword and she cast a spell at him. All his closed tucked themselves in tight to his body, locking his body straight. “Ow!”

“Well you lot are a mess. Bicker more than Gwen and Arthur eh?” They both whirled around to the door, Gwaine was there in his formal wear. Leaning on the door frame.

“Gwaine!” He turned around, remembering the night he spent in the dungeons where he had vaguely heard the man try to get past the guards to see him. He also vaguely remembered Gwaine’s grief at his execution. He had missed Gwaine too, but he had shut these feelings out. Gwaine was loyal to Arthur and Camelot, a world without magic. His world that betrayed him. “What do you want?” He let his voice take on a stony tone, any fondness he felt for the knight was quelled. Shoved deep inside him where it would hopefully never see the light of day again.

He ignored the hurt in the man's eyes. “I saw you arrive. Arthur has kept me busy and banned the servants from telling me which rooms were your, but walking by anyone could have figured it out. You two are very loud.” When neither of them spoke he continued. “I missed you ok. Both of you but sorry Morgana, Merlin’s like my best friend.”

“It’s good to see you too, Gwaine. I hope we can talk more at the feast.” He nodded, understanding his dismissal. These aren't the same people who had left Camelot. These people were not his friends. 

After another moment of silence Morgana turned to him with a soft smile, one they saved for each other now. Not in a romantic sense just… they were all each other had anymore. A grasp on their old lives and their new ones. He wasn't sure how their lives would have turned out if he never told Morgana about his magic, it was something he didn't even like to imagine. “Shall we go make an entrance?”

“Do we know any different?” They strolled down the hall laughing, and that alone made him feel lighter than he had since they arrived in Camelot.

\---

The feast was something to be marveled at. He knew the wedding would be the following afternoon, probably to give everyone time to recover from the amount of beer and mead they had out. Arthur would do nothing less for Gwen, it was always anything to make her happy. 

They took their seats, of course right next to the knights. They were generals, and they were guests, so it only made sense for them to be seated there but he still wished he wasn't. Especially when he saw Gwaine make a beeline for him and plopped down next to him. Lance on Gwaine’s other side. He had almost forgotten about Lance’s return to Camelot in the mess of last year, he spent all his time consumed for his love of Gwen and her love of Arthur.

Leon came in and didn't meet their eyes. He hadn’t said anything to Arthur or the council. He let people believe Uther jumped to his death. He turned in his seat so his back was completely to Gwaine as Arthur started to speak.

"I would like to thank everyone for making the long trip here. My father would have never approved of this union, but I want to make Camelot a better place. The people deserve a strong king," The knights cheered. "I want to be that king. I want to do that, with a strong queen by my side." He offered his hand to Gwen who took it and stood, a polite smile was on her face. She looked kinda like Arthur at his wedding to Elena. He said as much to Morgana and she started snickering. They got more than a few glares. 

“To Guenivere, the future Queen of Camelot.” A cheer went up as Arthur and Gwen took their places. He raised his drink in toast and then took a long drink. People dove for the food, him and Morgana sat there pleasantly. Black in Mora they simply cast a claiming spell on what they wanted. It repealed people from taking that slice of meat or the juiciest apple. It didn't hold long though so he quickly filled his plate, without any magic, it was unpleasant. Things were much cleaner when they did feasts.

"You got a good cut there. So why you looking so sad?" Gwane's mouth was full of food as he forced himself into Merlin's space. 

"I'm missing serving his royal prats every need right about now." Gwaine laughed, loud and boisterous like he always had. Merlin's death had done nothing to diminish the mans constant joy.

"I know you've joking, but there must be a better view of all the ladies in the room from up there. Like the lovely Lady Elena." Merlin looked at the girl he saved once upon a time. She seemed as elegant as any other princess.

"She seems to be doing a lot better since me and Gaius got that fairy out of her." He smiled when Gwaine choked. "What? I said she doesn't have a fairy possessing her anymore."

"Always been a hero then Merlin. Doesn't really shock me. Does Arthur know?" He watched the knight continue to eat, seemingly unphased by the conversation. Very close to a discussion about magic. He hadn't heard of Arthur killing magic users, but it was still punishable by death.

Before he could answer George appeared at his shoulder. "The king requests you both join him at the head table." He looked at Morgana in shock, he wasn't sure why he was so shocked, but he just didn't think Arthur wanted anything to do with him.

"Of course," he answered for them both. "Lead the way." He picked up his plate and started walking, confident that Morgana was following. Heads turned as the followed George up the hall until they were stood by the king. Arthur didn't look up from his conversation with Gwen as they sat, rather than wait for his attention he turned to Morgana. 

“You know what we must do before we go home?” She looked at him slightly amused, but it said ‘stop starting problems.’ Something he would not do. “I have so much stuff left over, I hope Gaius saved it all. I mean they were ancient so I doubt they were destroyed.”

That got Arthur’s attention, him and Gwen both turned towards them. “What are you talking about, Merlin?” He felt nothing at Arthur’s voice, nothing at all.

“Nothing, sire. I’m sorry to have distrubed you and m’lady.” The carefully veiled repulsion on Gwen’s face was wonderful.

“You were talking about things you left behind when you left. What were those things Gaius was saving for you?” He picked up on the aggression still simmer in Arthur. The argument earlier was fresh and at the forefront of Merlin’s mind looking into the man's eyes for the first time in almost two years. 

“When I was burned and had to escape to save my life, I didn't really get the chance to bring my valuables with.”

“What valuables could you have possibly had?”

His eyes narrowed in anger, after all that had happened Arthur still viewed him as a servant. Lesser than him. If only he knew the treasures that Merlin had kept under his bed. The ancient staff of power he used, the crystals he held to gaze into the future, the tombs that had been written hundreds of years ago that he had in his possession. If only he understood how valuable Merlin himself was, that he was the catalyst in Arthur’s destiny. That he could destroy everything so easily. “Gifts from my mother.” He answered instead. “Some stuff my father left me. I haven’t seen my mother since Uther sentenced me to death, I miss her very much.”

Gwen looked at him with pity and Arthur just turned away. Merlin didn’t know what was going on in his head anymore, he used to be able to read him like a book. He couldn’t anymore. He looked to Morgana instead who rolled her eyes at him. 

“Don’t give me that look, we both know you don’t like venison, I’m not sure why you got it. Honestly, just cause Gwaine wanted it. Ridiculous you are.” 

“You know there were always rumors about you two, if you are involved in some way. I guess we figure out the truth now, running away together and everything. Probably on fast track to marriage back in Mora.” There was a cruelty in Gwen’s voice he wasn’t accustomed to. Bitterness. Spite. But about what? Wasn’t she about to become Queen of Camelot?

“Oh, no my dear Gwen you have it all wrong.” Morgana’s smirk was an innocent one, or as innocent as they could look. She looked more like a beast playing with her food. A far cry from the exasperated fondness her and Merlin shared. “I can say Merlin is… involved with someone back home. But it is not me, never has been. Sadly.”

He liked the little flinch in Arthur calm as Morgana referred to Mora as home. “Yes well, I can’t say I’m not guilty of that statement.” Another ripple in Arthurs calm at that.

“Will we be getting an invitation soon? Who is the lovely lady?” Arthur asked, whipping back around like it was it’s life mission to know who Merlin was courting. If only it were that simple. 

“There will be no wedding ever, we have no intention of that, and I fear you know them very well Arthur.” That made Arthur’s eyes about big out of his skull which made Merlin giggle. When he looked up Arthur was bright red, so much wine and rage in him. “Oh I might as well tell you,” he leaned forward when Arthur was taking a drink. “King Cenred.” 

He sat back with a self satisfied smile as Arthur choked and spluttered, Gwen rubbed his back and shot Merlin a glare. “What vulgar things have you said to your king?”

“Nothing m’lady. Even if I had you cannot blame me, things are quite vulgar in my soldiers.” He watched with glee as her harsh demeanor crumbled slightly under the proper address. 

Arthur turned to him once he stopped coughing. “I would like to see you fight. Is there any chance we can spar before you depart?” There was something in Arthur’s eyes, something new in the way he looked at Merlin. Was it respect in how he was now a general?

“I'm afraid not, see me and General Pendragon will be departing first thing in the morning after the festivities of tomorrow. We are needed back home to attend King Cenred.” He let his voice became silky when he said Cenred’s name, to taunt and tease Arthur. He didn't even know if Arthur believed him, but it was amusing. 

“We will have to do it another time. From what I remember you could barely hold a sword the right way.” That again, always being called weak and useless. Merlin came to Camelot with a sword in hand, of course he could handle one. “I can’t imagine you being spectacular enough in so little time to become general.”

“I assure I have known my way around a sword long before I arrived in Camelot, my lord. My my weaponry skills are not the only reason I was appointed general so quickly. I am very well educated on subjects Cenred is quite fascinated in.” He watched realization dawn in Arthur’s eyes, they were talking about magic. 

George stepped forward to whisper in Arthur’s ear, Merlin followed the kings glare down to the knights. It looked like Gwaine was about to start a brawl. “If you will all excuse me.” Everyone nodded respectfully as he left and the second he was out of ear shot Morgana leaned across him to speak to Gwen. 

“I know we are here for you wedding to Arthur, but it’s still so crazy you two get a chance to be together.” It was sickly sweet in a way he often saw people when one beat the other in a duel. “I mean I was in full support of this relationship from the beginning, but I was shocked when you told me. You seemed so in love with the young Sir Lancelot.”

Catching on to what she was doing Merlin quickly continued, trying to match the way the once gossiped together. “Oh yes, you two seemed perfect for each other.” He quickly sobered up. “Not the you and the king aren’t, my lady.” Gwen looked at them with a tight lipped smile. 

“My relationship with Sir Lancelot were ended once he was banished because someone tried to trick the king.” He jokingly looked around to avoid her glare. He wanted to show Gwen him and Morgana held nothing against her, it wasn’t true but he wanted to show her that it was. She seemed like she needed a few friends. “He might have returned, but I am far too in love with Arthur to ever consider it.” 

Just then Arthur came back. “I heard my name. What are we talking about?”

“My dress.” Gwen blurted. 

“The decorations.” He said in haste. 

“The wedding.” Morgana put in smoothly, Gwen turned away from them and did not look back for the rest of the feast. Arthur also managed to find something else that entertain him. That left Merlin and Morgana to amuse themselves with fellow foreign kings and knights. Making friends and charming people, they could be useful in the future. Eventually when it was time for the festivities to begin, the king had to be pulled away from his bride as they retreated to their separate chambers. People stumbled off in pairs or more to make their ways to the first chamber’s they could fine. Merlin and Morgana strolled back towards their rooms in silence, both pondering the same thing. Tomorrow morning they would watch Arthur and Gwen marry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry you had to wait so long for a filler, let’s pray the wedding chapter comes soon


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the wedding has come!!!!

He felt weird when he woke up, something heavy had taken home in his throat and nothing he did would get rid of it. He talked just fine, but whenever he thought about the wedding it seemed to expand. He always knew Arthur would marry Gwen, even before Arthur had realized the depth of his feelings, Merlin knew Gwen would be queen. But he always thought, when he dressed for their wedding, it would be after he dressed Arthur. That he would meet Arthur outside the hall and speak to him before Arthur walked down the aisle to wait for his bride. He never imagined he would walk into the hall side by side with Morgana, wearing a general’s finest, and sit in the place of an honored guest. Even as the princes manservant he would never get a seat, now he had a personal invite. 

He wore purple and gold today, with black breaches tucked into supple leather boots. He was dressed like he used to dress Arthur, just without the cape, he had one though. Walking through Camelot in the finery he felt like he was meant to be there, Morgana had said she felt very much at home in the plunging purple gown she had made to match Merlin.

At the door he left Morgana as she went to take her seat, he chose to wait outside the hall. Watch all the nobles pass by, talking about the marriage of the sought after King of Camelot. He looked to the side hall where Arthur would be waiting, where George would be dressing him. Without another second of doubt he pushed open the door and strolled in, Arthur was in there pacing.

“George I said-” Before he even finished his sentence his sword was sitting at Merlin’s throat. “Why are you in here?” Arthur growled.

Releasing his hands from his sword he raised them. “I couldn't go in yet. I was just waiting outside to get some air and I saw the door and remembered when I used to ready you in here for ceremonies. Or for your other almost wedding.” Arthur growled again but sheathed the sword at his side. 

“You shouldn't be in here.” The king turned away, something Merlin never expected him to do with all the hate in his heart.

“I'm going to draw my sword.” He said, ignoring Arthur completely. “I want to tell you its story. It's one you deserve to hear.” Arthur whirled around ready to pull his sword and run Merlin through but Merlin was already there. With Excalibur balanced across his hands.

“You took it.” Arthur didn't even sound mad, just resigned, like he wasn't shocked Merlin stole something of that much importance from him. 

“Its name is Excalibur, it's the most powerful sword in the world.” Arthur muttered something about it being wielded by a buffoon now, but Merlin continued to talk. “It’s been forged in dragons breath. I made Kilgharrah, the great dragon, use his flame to give you the power to vanquish all of your enemies. That would have been enough, but I blessed it. My magic is infused in this blade. It is the only weapon that can easily kill a creature of the old religion, it's the only blade that could potentially kill me.” 

Arthur was silent for a long time. “What do the runes mean?”

He tilted the blade, it caught the light dangerously. “Take me up,” And smoothly flipping it over, like a trained expert. “And cast me away.”

“If it's the only sword that can kill you why would you give it to me and my father? You knew he would kill you if he knew the truth and yet you let him wield the sword.” He sheathed the sword at his hip again, contemplating his answer, looking at Arthur.

“Uther was never meant to wield the sword, he was never meant to hold that power. Kilgharrad was furious at me, I was furious at you because he took your place. I took it back because it's not a power I can let you wield anymore.”

“You don't trust me?” Hurt was apparent in Arthur's voice. Even after everything had changed he still craved Merlin’s trust.

“You see my truth as betrayal. I don’t know how you would react to that, how you would choose to take your revenge. I'm a foregin general now and our lands on an unsteady peace because of my king. I love Mora, her lands are my home and her people are my people. It has treated me much better than Camelot ever has. I could never have peace knowing somebody other than me wields such a weapon.”

“You let me wield it before? When you were still hiding?” He wasn't sure how to convey to Arthur that he had bene totally and utterly devoted to him while he was serving him. Not the king, the prince, the Pendragon dynasty. Arthur. Nothing else had mattered to him except Arthur and now he was paying the price for it.

“Once upon a time I had followed you, only you, that time has passed now. I… I can't let you have that power over me.” He stepped closer to Arthur as he spoke, so close their breath was almost mingling. “You don't deserve the power of dragons, or a blade blessed by my own hand. Not after the atrocities committed by you and your father.” Arthur opened his mouth, probably to argue against the accusations, but Merlin shook his head. “I must go find my seat, the wedding will be starting soon.”

He turned and walked to the door, ready to leave the dark room, but a soft hand caught his wrist. “Merlin, I'm so sorry. Trust me when I say that.” He looked at Arthur and he believed him. He just didn't know how long his guilt would last.

“I am too, Arthur, I am too.” Then he pulled his wrist free and walked out the door into the bright sunlit hall. He found his seat between Morgana and Lance, neither of them asked where he had been which he was immensely grateful for. The less the know the less they could tell, and he didn't think he could stand being questioned by Cenred about this. 

The doors opened and the whispering came to a halt as Arthur strolled in in bright white garb. He looked even more spectacular that he did in the dimness of the room. He took his place at the altar and not a moment later the doors opened again for Gwen to enter. He heard Lance’s breath catch, she wore a long white gown that was dripping with beads. Her veil was covered in pink and white flowers and her hair was loose down her back. She looked gorgeous. Gwen looked out on the crowd of people gathered to watch, smiling pleasantly, Merlin watched her face fall when her eyes landed on Lance. He would always support Arthur and Gwen, but he knew in his heart Gwen and Lance were made for each other. Their souls were created as one and split to amuse the gods. 

They stood there hand in hand with Geoffrey started to speak. To anyone else they would look like the perfect couple, totally in love, but not to Merlin. He could see them fighting not to squirm, he could almost taste the turbulence in the air. He looked to Morgana but she was off in another world, not paying attention to the wedding happening. He sat back and watched the precessions happen with disinterest.

"Do you, Arthur Pendragon, take Guinevere to be your wife and consort for the good of Camelot?" Silence. Arthur didn't say anything, he stared down at their hands. Geoffrey cleared his throat. "Do you, Arthur Pendragon-”

"I heard you." Merlin sat forward when Arthur spoke, things were going to get interesting. "Guinevere I..."

"Me too, Arthur. I know how you feel." People around the room were starting to whisper. "This was a mistake." She let her voice wash over the room, loud and clear. There is a roar of noise which died down quickly, everyone wanted to know what would happen next. 

Arthur turned to address the crowd. “Guinever and I need to speak in private, everyone please feel free to exit and fill your day how you wish. We will still be holding the feast tonight.” Then, he promptly left through a side door with Gwen hiking up her skirts to follow behind him. 

Noise filled his ears as people rose and left without question. Will they loudly whispered the questions to each other. Everyone disponing to their own rooms, surely to gossip. He nudged Morgana to being her back to reality. They stood up and joined the crowd streaming out of the hall, leaving Lance stranded in his seat alone. He didn't seem like he was moving soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry it took be over a month to post this. i kinda lost motivation but i will not give up


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuuuuuuuuck i’m so sorry it’s been so long since i posted. i just want to say thank you to every single person who has commented on this fic because i didn’t realize it until i started writing but every single comment is a little more motivation to keep going and if you want to tell me you love it or if you want to tell me you hate it or if you want to leave a full in-depth review and tell me what you think should/will happen next just know i treasure you

They mounted their horses at sunrise and set off without Bayard’s caravan. Neither had waited to speak to Gwen or Arthur after the feast, whatever happened to their wedding didn't matter enough to keep them away from Mora any longer. ‘Something is wrong, I can feel it’ Morgana had told him last night, and he trusted her instincts fully. They were already riding out when Arthur arrived on the steps to send them off. Morgana didn't look back and neither did Merlin, whatever transpired between him and Arthur was not enough to right his sins. In fact, all their conversations had done was solidify them in Merlin’s mind. 

Their travels home were painless with the help of magic. They slept on dirt that felt like a cloud and always had sufficient food without any real hunting. The paths were always clear and the weather was always perfect. He joked it was the gods thanking them for putting up with Arthur again, and that could honestly be it. They reached the clearing Merlin first landed in only to be met by the dragons.

"Kilgharrah. Aithusa." He bowed his head as he spoke their names, Morgana did the same beside him.

“Merlin and Morgana.” Kilgharrah purred. “I trust you enjoyed your trip. Exciting was it?” He rolled his eyes and continued on riding, Morgana hesitated before following, she was still wary around Kilgharrah. “How is the young Pendragon?”   
  


“Still alive if that's what you're asking. Now, we need to report to Cenred. You can take your leave Kilgharrah.” His voice was filled with fond exasperation he wished he could banish but he just couldn't, Kilgharrah had become his dragon as well as Athiusa and there was nothing he wouldn't do for them. 

“Oh yes, the little mortal king you both serve. He is waiting for you patiently. He had a visitor while you were gone, Emrys, don't get jealous.” He launched into the air with his laughter ringing in the air. Silently Athiusa took flight after him.

"I wonder who Censed's guest is?" Morgana teased. "Maybe it's a beautiful lady, or a handsome man. Maybe he found someone more powerful and decided they were more interesting."

He finally looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "He found someone more powerful?" Morgana burst out laughing.

"You are jealous!" He tried to protest but a bell signalizing their arrival started ringing. "Race you." She cried, her horse already taking off towards the gates. He whispered a small charm and dashed forward to leave her in the dust.

\- - -

They left their horses at the stable and handed their bags over. They went straight to the throne room where Cenred was waiting for them, he hated when they were tardy. The doors preceded them as they arrived at the hall, Cenred was of course stretched out across his throne, only now he was purring into someone's ear. 

“Hello there-” Merlin's magic flew out and grabbed her around the neck, levitating her much like he did when he killed Uther. Letting her suffocate from nothing as she hung there immobilized in mid air.

“Why are you here? We banished you, you will leave right now or be killed.” Morgana was silent, he risked a look at her and saw her face set with stony determination to cover the pain. Banishing Morgaues, her sister, was probably one of the hardest things she had done in the name of light, but it had been her idea. She knew Morgause wasn't practicing pure magic and she never would practice it, her vengeance against the Pendragon’s became all she wanted even over freedom and it wouldn't be long until she turned against Morgana if they had kept her around.

“Merlin, please, she is my guest. Let her down right now?” He turned his golden eyes on the king, cold and unforgiving, a being of pure power that could do whatever it wishes. He let Morgause drop; he needed to play nice with Cenred as always. He got something of a sneer from the man, but he didn't rush forward to help Morgause either. Everyone just watched as she gagged on the floor.

“I asked why you are here.” He spat at her. She tried to get to her feet but another lick of magic held her on her knees. Morgause had tried to kill him, tried to kill Arthur, used Morgana, wrecked Camelot. He couldn't let her live, no matter what he refused to let her live like he did last time. After this conversation was done he would snap her neck with nothing more that a breath across his lips. 

“I know about the ceremony, I needed to be here. I came to speak with you, but you had already left. Cenred let me stay once more, while I waited for you both to return of course. How could I miss my sister's ceremony?” She was looking at Morgana with big eyes begging for forgiveness and her voice covered in honey. His magic yanked her head back and she snarled at him. 

"You aren't welcome at any such ceremony. Your darkness will not taint another generation of magic." She lunged for him but this time it was Morgana's magic that held her back.

"You need me there." She seethed. "You need a high priestess! And I'm the only one left!" She laughed, thinking she was clever. 

"I don't need you at all." Her laughter slowed to a stop. "I need a high priestesses power. Except, I‘m Emrys. I'm more powerful than you could ever be. The druids don't even look at you as a vessel of the old religion anymore. You’re just a hag.” She spit at him and magic made a slice down her arm, it wasn't his magic. She screamed and pulled it against her chest.

“That is enough!” Cenred finally decided it was time to intervene. He walked forward with all the power of a king and met Merlin’s eyes without flinching. “She is my guest, in my castle and in my kingdom. You two are my generals and I could be rid of you without a second thought. You will release and heal her now.” Merlin didn't move. “Now, Merlin.” He tilted his head, his eyes still glowing a deadly gold, he looked down at Morgause then turned and left. He heard Morgana saying something to Cenred but the blood rushing through his ears drowned it out. 

A stone in the wall burst, cracked rippling through it. The stone beneath his foot turned to dust. Morgause had committed so many crimes against him he could never forgive her. He didn't have to forgive her. There was nothing holding him back, his power was unchecked. A window shattered. 

He shouldn't have to listen to Cenred. A petty mortal king who thought using Merlin to gain more and more land would bring him peace and power. Dust fell upon his shoulders as he slammed the door to the courtyard behind him. He roared out his demands, making the guards jump and cower away from him. The dragons touched down and he heard the guards slip through the doors. They had learned by now the dragons and their dragonlord did not like company. 

He strolled forward and mounted Athiusa without a shadow of hesitation, she didn't flinch or bend under his weight. He could feel the muscles rippling under her scales. He told Kilgharrah to wait for Morgana then meet them to prepare for the ceremony. It was supposed to be her own walk to rebirth, but he refused to let Morgause follow and interfere with this change in magic. As they soared through the air he retreated deep into his magic. Each time he met a gate he had put in place he threw open the doors to let more power spill out. The deeper he went the brighter it got. Felt like he was looking at the sun in the dead of winter. He was deep in the earth as he faced the last gate. Tall, imposing sheets of iron that covered wood. He had never gone anywhere near this deep into his magic, it was always too wild, something unchecked that he couldn't control no matter how hard he tried. Right now, he needed this power, whatever hid behind this gate called to him to embrace it. 

He placed his palms against the iron and pushed, the harder he pushed to more is started to ache. He threw his shoulder against the doors and they barely budged. He could feel the blood dripping off him now, he couldn't do this with his body. He summoned all the magic he had released into the world, all of it swirling around inside him. He tried to form it into a key, a battering ram, anything to be used to open the gates. He took a step back and closed his eyes, with a deep breath he released his hold on the magic. Letting it flow around him unhindered. The gates cracked open and he swore he saw Camelot for a moment in the blinding light before he fell forward into the power he had locked away inside him.

Then he was everywhere.

Every leaf on a tree, every bubble of a creak, every bee on a flower, every crash of waves against rocks. He was everywhere. Everywhere there was magic felt the presence of Emrys. He gasped and fell forward, tumbling off Athiusa’s back into soft grass. He watches the blades creep into his vision and climb towards the sky. He jumped up and looked around. Wild flowers now covered the floor and the trees were green with moss. He heard birds singing and frogs croaking among the trees. Then he saw his dragon.

Athiusa no longer looked frail and as if a strong wind could know her out of the sky. She had almost grown, still half the size of Kilgharrah but there was a power that radiated from her. He bowed his head deeply, there was nothing else to do but bow to her even as she bowed back. 

_ “Emrys.”  _ She rumbled in his head, deep and powerful.  _ “Congratulations on unlocking the power the gods gifted you. I am pleased that I was able to share in the experience with you.”  _ He pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes, her scales against his skin. All he ever wanted to do was right the wrongs he had caused, now he feels like he has really done something miraculous.

Kilgharrah then touched down with Morgana quickly sliding off his back. "Something changed." Was all she said, most definitely referring to the shift in magic. He assumed all magical creatures and magic sensitive people felt it and that was his confirmation. Something had changed, but he wasn't sure of the affects.

"I can tell you about it later, we must start the ceremony. They are waiting." She nodded and took a deep shuddering breath. He started off towards the clearing with her and the dragons in tow. 

Gathered at the edge of the clearing were two druid tribe leaders, some soldiers and practitioners from the city. With this group Merlin had brought together what was required in the original ceremony, then brought more power. All the ceremony needed was voluntary power

Morgana came out wearing a heavy dark dress that he knew was rough to the touch. They joined around her in a circle, Merlin at the head, with their heads tilted up to the quickly darkening sky. He felt the magic surging around them, he could almost taste the sweetness in the air. She knelt at his feet and turned her palms up to the blood red sky. 

He spoke in their heads, giving Morgana a new channel for her magic._ "Morgana Le Fey is here at our feet. Willing to give up her magic with the promise of it being born again._ _You are here to pledge yourself to the powers of the Old Religion. Will you do it?"_

_ "Yes." _ There was no hesitation as she spoke in their minds. 

_ “To become a slave to their wishes?”  _ Morgana was glowing, magic was swarming her, surrounding her.

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Then you, Morgana Le Fey, I ask you to release your magic.”  _ All the brilliant light that had been clothing her dark robes burst free from the heavy fabric, shooting up into the sky as she raised her head to the stars. Slowly, the congregation started to chant with Emrys leading them. Her magic reached up and whirled around the stars, being pulled around the moon to be infused with the power of the gods. Their life, their death, their past and future. Everything he has known from birth was being gifted to her now. She opened her eyes unseeingly, he could watch the power flood her. 

When she finally collapsed their chanting ceased. Slowly the noises of the forest returned and soon they were swallowed by the sounds of night creatures. Merlin walked forward and lifted Morgana in his arms. He bid his thanks to those who had come and they all kissed her forehead and whispered their blessings. He walked to Kilgharrah and Athiusa who bowed, but he knew they were not bowing to him. The new high priestess, the birth of a new cycle of magic took form in Morgana. 

Kilgharrah took them both back to the castle and landed in the courtyard scaring the guards again. Morgause was waiting there with Cenred at her side, the king was leaning heavily against the wall obviously not wanting to be here. Morgause ran forward to where Merlin stood at Kilgharrah’s side with Morgana in his arms.

“What did you do to her! You killed her! You killed my sister! You bastard I knew you would do it again! I knew you would try!” She was forced back as Kilgharrah whipped his tail.

“Stay back Morgause.” He shot a look at Cenred who purposefully avoided his powerful gaze. “I told you you are not welcome here.”

“You killed her!” 

“I can assure you Morgana is more alive than ever and will outlast you by many centuries.” He watched Cenred shift strangely at his words as they echoed out across the castle. A reminder that he was so very mortal, something Merlin often forgot he was not. Morgause made another attempt to reach that and Kilgharrah blew fire into the air, screams from the guards on the battalions rang out. “Stay back!” He let the power seep back into his voice, this new wild uncheck power he had to learn how to master. 

She was about to make another attempt when Cenred’s hand fell upon her shoulder. “I will have a stable hand prepare your horse.” She was screaming and seething as the guards dragged her off. Cenred didn't meet his eyes as he walked past and Merlin didn't try to meet his. He walked through the hall with Morgana sleeping in his arms watching as the druids they passed bowed. He ran across Freya who dropped to her knees in front of them. He nodded to all of them on Morgana’s behalf and when he finally laid her to sleep he spent the whole night watching over her. He knew the gods were too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again i want to say thank you to every single comment i’ve gotten, there’s never been anything but positivity and going back and reading those comments rly gave me the motivation i have right now


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you’d think being in quarantine i would write more. you’re sadly mistake. i’ve barely done anything

“We can fight!” He slammed his hand on the table, quickly clamping down on the magic that threatened to lash out at his rage. It was becoming more and more restless by the day. “We can take Bayard, I know we can, I know better than you!”

“You will not take Mora to war with Bayard.” Morgause rose to match him, her magic sparking under her skin, he could see it.

“You are a guest here, you sitting in this meeting is a privilege. The fact I have let you live is a privilege you will not forget. We want to decimate Camelot, Bayard is the only thing keeping us from a direct border. A thin strip of land Cenred just couldn't keep hold of."

She growled. "Don't speak to you king like that." He bared his teeth ready to argue back, but for the first time in a week of meetings Cenred spoke.

"Merlin. Do you really think we could take back that land and gain a direct border with Camelot?" He nodded, too busy fighting his magics wish to kill Morgause. "Morgause I have already sent you away once, I will do it again if you continue like this." She sat down with smoke coming out of her ears. Morgana was smirking from her seat.

"Cenred." Her voice was fraught with a new kind of power. "Merlin knows even better than I do as he helped Arthur study the military strategies, but Uther often scoffed to me about how their tactics hadn't changed in a hundred years. Bayard’s kingdom could be ours in a short war.”

Morgause opened her mouth then it snapped shut, Morgana’s magic. “We will start to ready to troops and supplies. I will prep the castle for our depart. Merlin and Morgana, you come to my chambers later to talk strategy.” Cenred looked at Morgause with disdain as he spoke. “You are welcome to stay here as long as needed. If you wish to fight you can report to General Emrys and General Pendragon. Understood?” She nodded and Cenred stood, dismissing the room. That was that, they were going to war.

\---

“He’s sick, its obvious, he won't be able to fight no matter how much he tries to hide it.” He was across Morgana’s bed while she sat at her vanity.

“I asked the psychian, I know he's sick, why does it matter? Why are you so determined to fight now?”

“Because what better time to kill him.” Morgana did not look surprised, just slightly more interested. “We kill him, I’m next in line for the throne and then I put you right there next to me and we have a whole kingdom we are in control of.”

“You say that like we aren't in control now.”

“We aren't. We still have to go through Cenred to make decisions and deal with the council. I want him gone, the sooner he is gone and the sooner we beat Bayard the sooner we can decimate Camelot."

"Are you sure we can't just let Arthur manage it on his own? We already know he is out on some quest."

"I’m sure he can manage it, very easily. But if he is gone this is the best time to invade. Camelot can't move until he comes back."

She pondered his words, weighing the actions and their consequences. "It is getting a little dull around here. And it would be nice to be rid of Cenred finally. Lets do it. Lets kill him and go to war."

"I’m glad you said yes because I already put the plan into place.” She groaned.

"Why didn't you just kill Arthur while you were his servant and save us all this trouble. You're clearly an evil genius." She finally turned to face him. "What have you done?"

He leaned forward, the evil grin on his face made darker by the bloodred sky that bled through the windows. With laughter lining his tone, he whispered his plan to her until the sun faded from the sky.

\---

They sat astride their horses, watching as their armies started the slow march out of the city. Cenred looked worse than ever, but he still seemed well enough to mount a horse. That wouldn't work.

He murmured a disorientation spell which caused him to tip right out of the saddle. Merlin jumped off his horse and knelt at his side. "Sire, are you alright?" He made a big show of checking for wounds, healing scrapes, and making sure he was alright.

"Im perfectly fine, general." Merlin still raised his hand to the King's head, asking permission to use magic. After a curt nod he let his power flow through much like he would for healing magic. Instead of the warmth of healing magic he gathered Cenred's illness in ice and buried it deep. Letting take hold so almost no herbs could heal it.

"I've done all I can but the illness is quite determined. I've pushed it back but it will return if you don't get the proper medication." He hesitated, still keeping his voice low. "You have to stay back."

The king's eyes flashed. "I will do no such thing. we are going to war and I am the king. I must go." Merlin let his fingers just barely stroke his head. 

“If you come you risk the illness getting worse. Please trust me. Trust that staying here is better for you and trust me that I will bring you back a win. Do you trust me?”

Instead of answering his question, Cenred asked one of his own. “Do you truly believe the words you say?”

“Yes. I do.” He nodded and stood up, waving off Merlin’s worried hands. 

“I will make a statement as to why I am staying behind later today. I trust our psychian can make this medicine I need?” Merlin nodded. “Good. Then off you go, it is only a two day ride to their capital, make sure our men are prepared.”

“Of course, Sire.” Cenred turned his back on him and walked into the castle. Merlin remounted his horse and nodded to Morgana, together they road after their troops leaving Mora behind.

\---

"I'm glad Athiusa is here, but can I ask why Kilgharrah isn't coming? He is the great dragon after all." He was stood with Freya at the edge of the fire light where Athusia lay sleeping. They were one night into their journey. They would stop again the next night before attacking in the darkness.

"I tried to make him, but he demanded I send two trusted druids with him on a different mission. He promised it was very important and would be a great surprise when we returned. So I gave him his druids and let him go. Much better than trying to convince him to fight. He's not very fond of it."

She shrugged and changed the topic, stroking the dragon's snout. "I've never been to war, or battle. What's it like?" Such an innocent question, it almost made him question if she should be fighting at all.

"It’s terrible." He had stood at Arthurs side through many battles. Wrapping his wounds, watching him command men, loading bodies, and working it the shadows. "Its horrific. There is so much death and destruction. My only wish for this war is that it is quick and we get out with as few deaths as possible."

"We will, don't worry.” She fruitless tried to sooth away his fears. “We have magic they aren't prepared for. And not just battle magic. We can heal almost any wound. We can become invisible. We can sneak behind their lines. We have a dragon!” She quickly quieted herself again. “We will be ok. Everyone will be ok.” He nodded. “Don't worry Merlin, I bid you goodnight.” She had a mischievous smile as she went off to bed near Morgana. 

Instead of returning to the fire he curled up against Athiusa’s side much like how he has slept with Kilgharrah, letting the warmth of their scales blanket him in the night. The next day there would be more traveling, then a few hours of rest before they would try to storm the citadel. He fell asleep but barely rested, his head was filled with every torturous battle he had been through before, but at least last time he had Arthur by his side. Now everything he was doing was to destroy Arthur. The man he had worked so hard to build. He had built Arthur up from an arrogant prince to a true king, he had done his best, but it hadn’t been enough. Now all that was left to rip apart his own creation. 

\---

As they broke camp for the second night Merlin sat on a rock watching the sun set. His soldiers were behind him grumbling as they fell asleep per his orders. He sensed Morgana before he heard her as she climbed upon the rock with him. 

“You truly believe we will win?” 

“Our victory is the one thing I am not worrying about.” He fell silent, waiting for her to say something, but it became apparent the spotlight was still on him. “What if Camelot comes to their aid? Who will we be fighting?”

“You know who we will be fighting, you have already faced them once before. Now its on a battlefield rather than a ballroom. Which suits us all better.” She fell silent as they looked at the final hill they would march, the citadel waiting at its base. “What else is bothering you?”   
  


There was no point in hiding it from her, hiding anything from her, Morgana had learned how to read him years ago. “I’ve never fought with magic so openly. I know how because I teach it, but I’ve also never had this much power saved up. And I'm constantly drawing in more. I fell asleep last night and woke up with power seeping out of me, I couldn't control it.”

“You taught me how to channel magic, you're still teaching me, just listen to your own advice every once in a while. Just let the magic be. You have to let it flow through you before you can shape it. Gain this new powers trust and it will do anything you ask of it.” He knew she was repeating his own words back at it, but that still helped his shoulders relax and the rolling in his gut settle. He nodded instead of giving a verbal answer, but that was enough for her as she climbed off the rock and went to sleep. 

He spent the rest of the night on that rock. He was too restless to sleep so he stayed there meditating and bonding with this new magic he had unlocked. As well running through a hundred different scenarios of how the battle might play out. In the cover of darkness their army would surround the walls to hold off any trade that comes through and let Bayard believe it was a siege, he knew their walls were said to have never been broken so they had endless amounts of food and water and could wait it out until help came. Except, before they block off the gates he's going to send some of his best actors in to infiltrate the castle and destroy their food supply as well as dry up their wells. Once they realized they couldn't wait out the siege, Bayard would be forced to send his men out to be, hopefully, decimated by Mora’s army. That would be repeated till either reinforcements came or they surrendered. If reinforcements came Merlin was going to split the army, one half to ward of the new player and the other to keep hammering the gates to the citadel. 

When the moon crested in the sky he roused his mages and dragon and marched them up hill. Under the moonlight the flags waved and Mercia loomed. Whispers rose to the stars as soldiers started to move. Merlin didn't start war, but he started this one and he would end it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i’ve been rereading all your lovely comments, i read them whenever i’m sad or lacking motivation, and i just wish there was a way to really interact with people and i was thinking. damn i don’t use my tumblr anymore. damn i don’t use any of my old fandom instagrams, but everything is still up and i’m more than happy to revive one of those for writing or smth if anyone wanted that


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry that i havent posted since april i haven’t forgotten about this fic but i has just terrible writers block while under lock down and couldn’t make any progress. to make up for that i’m going to be posting another chapter after this one

When dawn broke alarm bells were already ringing. The guards at the gates were bound in magical ropes sitting in the corner of the tent. Merlin stood with his back to them, bent over the wooden table with Freya. Morgana watched them from across the tent. She wanted the fighting to start already, she wanted to feel the powers of the old gods ripping through her, but Merlin insisted it be done like this. There was courtesy in war, it was something he picked up from Arthur, but they meant it very differently. Arthur spoke of it meaning they would allow each other to gather their dead and wounded. Merlin meant he wouldn't topple the stones in a breath. The two of them alone could turn the city to dust, the army of mages could do even more. He said it wasn't a victory he wanted unless they got the chance to fight. And she respected that. He didn't get to fight when his life was ripped away from him. He was thrown into the fire bound and gagged. 

"King Bayard will never surrender to you, witch.” One of the guards spit at her. “They can withstand a siege for days. And Camelot will come, the king has been itching for a fight, everyone knows it. King Arthur will-" The cloth stuffed itself back in his mouth with a flick of her wrist, she was tired of his voice already.

"Thank you, Morgana, his voice is truly dreadful.” Merlin turned around and it finally hit her much he had changed. His long legs were wrapped tightly in black cloth and sprawled out, Exalibur hung from his hip and he had knives strapped to his thighs. A thin white shirt stretched across his broadened shoulders and narrow toursue. She wasn’t sure if he was going to wear armor, but he was certainly wearing the base for it. It wasn't just that though, his face was fuller now that he had consistent good meals. He wore his hair longer, full and curly and as black as the night, if he let it get any longer he would start to look a bit like Gwaine. He reminded her of a cat nowadays, he always had, but she once thought of him more as a lazy cat who would lounge in the sun until you tried to take his toy. The toy being Arthur. Now she knew, she could read the tension in his long, languid lines. Words fell off his tongue with a drawl and an evil smirk. 

“King Arthur is going to come, with his shiny knights and bright gold, I know he will. I plan on it.” He leaned down towards the man. “Maybe you shouldn't put all your faith in one man, and look at all your options.” The guards seemed to cower back and the sheer power that radiates off Merlin, off Emrys. He turned back around to the table to waved a hand at a guard. “Take them to the other tent, free them of their ropes and gags, give them food and water but do not let them leave.”

She watched as nameless soldiers removed their hostages. As soon as the tent flapped closed behind them she stood, making her way over to the table. “The scouts will be back any moment with information about the castle. This plan is too slow, we need to attack.”

“No, we don't, we need Arthur to come.” She wasn’t sure when his plan became about Arthur, she wasn’t sure when this battle became a canvas for him to paint his bloody revenge. “We need him to come and we need him to bring his knights.” He looked at her with an evil smile. “I have a surprise for you.”

He strolled around to the other side of the table so they were facing each other. “I don't like you keeping secrets from me, Merlin.” Her voice was full of careful warning. “How did you know Arthur would come?” 

“I didn't, not until that guard mentioned him, but of course he will come. Its Arthur and its Lance and its Leon. They will come in a heartbeat, they will be moving by morning. That's why I am going to go give the order to let messengers pass. I’m not hiding things from you Morgana,” The smile softened. “I’m just making things up as I go. I don’t know how to lead an army.” A little laugh broke from his lips. “It's all just a big guessing game.” She softened, she was always worried that this life would change Merlin from the man she loved like a brother, but everytime she started to doubt him he proved her wrong.

“Okay, go give the order. Let’s show Arthur how wrong he was.” Merlin smiled like a giddy child before composing himself and leaving the tent. As the fabric fell closed Freya let out a sigh, a dopey look of love on her face, Morgana had forgotten she was in there. 

"You like him?" The girl jumped and started to stutter something out. "Don't worry, I won't tell him. I will warn you though, everyone falls for Merlin, it's just how it is. He never looked at anyone though. His heart is held and he doesn't even know it.” Sadness shadowed Freya’s face at her words, but they were the truth, better she learn it now rather than go through the pain of rejection like she herself had. In a weak attempt to change the subject Morgana asked her, “Are you ready to fight?”

It seemed to be the right thing to ask because her face was now alight with determination. “Oh I can’t wait. I hope you’re both right, I hope King Arthur and his knights come.” Morgana laughed and Freya laughed with her, there something so intoxicating about the freedom to hate Camelot. 

\---

A horn sounded through their camp. Then again. It was time for Mora to attack.

Merlin jumped on Athiusa's back and she launched herself up and up into the air and cast a silent charm over them. Invisibility. Inside the citadel he could see the panic, waves of people fleeing to the castle for protection. The bright blue of Mercia's knights weaved through the tides of people trying to get to the fortress walls. He let them take their position, waiting for Mora to attack.

He let all the power of Emrys take over him, the voice of a dragonlord filled his throat. “Hold!” The noise rang down to his army who held their positions far enough back from the walls that the enemy could see them but not trust them. “Fire!” Shields flew up from Mercia as their flaming arrows cut through the blue sky leaving trails of smoke in their wake. Few struck true but they weren't meant to, they were meant to make Bayard angry, to make him so frustrated and paranoid he sent his men out. Like lambs to slaughter. Except he kept his armies under strict instructions to avoid killing. They would take hostages and knock men out and seriously wound them, but they would not intentionally kill. He refused to show magic as a brute force for evil. 

Athiusa flew forward so he was looking straight down onto the castle, he once again made sure the magic held up and that they were invisible to the naked eye then called out again. “Fire!” This time a volley of magic flew into the walls and the stone started steaming and melting. He needed Bayard scared, he had to be scared, he didn't seem scared yet. "Fire!" More magic flew as smoke filled the air as they boiled stone. The big wooden doors of the palace opened and Bayard came out, flanked by two men. His generals. Good, he could see the damage that could be done first hand.

"Hold!" He watched as Bayard made his way to the front of the battlements. He must have already sent a messenger to Camelot, at full speed riding alone it would only take half a day. Camelot would be moving by the next morning. They just had to play with them for a day. "Fire!" Right as Bayard looked over magic flew. Knights pulled him back behind their shields. Then, dragged him back to the castle. 

"Stand down!" He watched with satisfaction as their clean lines broke back towards camp. A lone Mercian soldier fired an arrow but before it reached its peak Merlin disintegrated it in a flash of gold. He looked down upon the crumbling, melting stone and smiled. His troops were powerful, so powerful all of his ridiculous plans might just turn out. 

—-

When him and Athiusa landed in the forest behind camp he made quick work to free her from spells. As bad as it sounded he would have preferred Kilgharrah, Athiusa had never been in a fight, even one as minor as this. He would do anything in his power to keep her light away from this darkness. “Are you okay?” He asked out loud, reaching up to stroke her snout. “The war and the fighting. It’s not too much?”

_ "Yes, Merlin, I am. I have no fear of the men in this world and their petty battles. Go rally your troops, you face him soon enough.”  _ It was a dismissal if he had ever heard one. Rather than press he decided it was the safer option to bow his head deeply and leave her in peace. 

He walked into the war tent and dropped Excalibur on the table, dread for the following days has already begun to set in. His magic jumped at the ready as he heard a faint whimper behind him. Whirling around he already had a vice grip on the source of the noise before his brain could comprehend what he was looking at. The man before him was bound and gagged with long hair falling around his face, he was dressed like a Mercian guard but Merlin didn't recognize him. He peeked his head outside. ”Who is this?” He asked, scaring his own men.

“Sorry General, but we picked him up around the back. He demanded to speak to you.” Nodding his head he retreated back into the tent and took a good look at the man in front of him. It had been so long he barely recognized him, but when he did a sadistic smile slid across his face. When a smile full of mischief made itself at home on his news friends face, he knew this was going to be life saving. He sat down prepared to listen to everything the man had to say. 

\---

He watched red swaths of fabric crest the hill while blue lined the walls. Camelot was coming to Mercia’s aid but Merlin was ready for them. Mercian soldiers had been randomly firing off arrows and jeering, anxious watching his soldiers stand in stoic rows. His army didn't wear the heavy chainmail, they wore thin flexible leather that was enchanted to have the strength of a dragon's scale. He absentmindedly stroked Athiusa’s glistening scales. 

_ “Are you prepared to face off against your king?”  _ She asked in his head and a spear of ice shot through his heart. 

“He's not my king.” he answered tightly, then to avoid further conversation he sent the message down to Morgana to split the army, Camelot was coming and the last thing he wanted was for them to see the full power Mora held. “Pull up.” Athiusa did as he asked without pressing further on the tightness in his voice and the tremble of his hand. 

He watched his soldiers carefully. There was a spell he had used a long time ago that would leave a remnant of you behind. He had instructed each person to perfect it and use it. This spell would allow half their army to get in position for Camelot’s attack with alerting Mercia. There was an uproar from Mercians soldier's as half his army blinked out of existence and reappeared at their backs. The red pushed harder, barreling down at their left side. "Ready!" People faltered as his army readied themselves. Camelot and Mora were about to crash.

Mercia cheered at the first clashes of metal and came streaming through the gates. Blue and red capes against their simple brown leather. This was a real battle, it was time for him to get involved.

\---

Athiusa divided onto the battlefield smoke curling up into the sky as she spewed fire. Her roar was deafening and soldiers from all sides scattered as the ground shook beneath her claws. They were in the center of the battle, a barren circle cleared around them. He focused his eyes on where Arthur would be emerging soon then looked at the opposing soldiers. His eyes glowed as power radiated off of him so strongly that when his feet hit the ground the grass bent away from him. “Where is Arthur?”

At his words the chaos of battle started again. Athiusa took off into the sky, men were coming at him, and Arthur - Arthur came out of his tent at Merlin’s call. As their eyes met a rage he hadn't seen in a while filled him, his time with Arthur months before had not given him peace, it had given him fuel. Fuel to catch the blades swung at hit with his bare hands and send fire down to the hilt, burning his opponents hands. 

Every knight tried to take down the enemy king, they all strived for that glory and recognition. Maybe they would get a feast, he sent a bolt of blue light at the soldiers. Maybe they would get riches, Excalibur slid through the chainmail like butter. Maybe it would earn them a beautiful maiden, Athiusa spitfire down. 

Maybe: stab. 

Arthur: slice. 

Would: shield. 

Like them: He roared and the ground beneath him rippled, throwing everyone from all sides off their feet until he was one of the few standing. 

He met Arthur’s eyes from where the king was the first to struggle to his feet. One unsteady step, then another, and Arthur was charging. Their blades met in a resounding clash that seemed more heavenly than mortal, and people watched. 

They watched the two clash, he saw faces he recognized on all sides looking at him in awe and horror. Something tingled on the back of his neck so he threw Arthur off of him and flung out his hands. Behind him was King Bayard with a sword raised ready to bring it down on his neck, and in front of him was King Arthur whose face was nothing but boiling rage. A pulse of power threw them both down in a whirl of gold and capes. When they rose, he was waiting for them.

They charged him and the sky shook with his battle cry, his senses sharpened as he blocked every strike. The two kings stepped back, observing his fighting style. 

“We can't kill him.” Arthur said and Bayard looked at him like he was crazy.

“Why not, he's too dangerous to be a prisoner as your father learned. We need to stop him now.” A slow smile spread across his face, Bayard didn’t know.

“No…” Something akin to fear crept into Arthur’s voice. “He cannot be killed. He’s immortal…” Pure undiluted fear filled Bayard’s face as he looked at Merlin in a new light. 

Bayard charged him despite the revelation and a second later Arthur followed. Merlin was a storm, spitting and fighting and never letting them get a hit in. Every strike Arthur threw he knew how to block, every attack Bayard launched he thwarted. 

This was taking too long, he didn't want to drag this out. This siege was a show of power, they had shown their ability to infiltrate Mercia, they had shown their arson with their magic and his dragon, now they needed to show how swiftly Mora could get what they wanted. They could see the mercy he has shown them later. He flicked his hand and grass grew and grew until Arthur was trapped, every time he moved they tightened. 

He used a basic skill, one Arthur had taught him, to rid Backyard of his sword. Magic forced him to his knees and Merlin placed his blade on his neck. “Don't do this!” Arthur bust out. “Don’t kill him, Merlin dont! You will never forgive yourself if you do it!” Blades of grass wrapped around his neck and mouth, silencing him.

He looked down at Bayard and let the power seep away, his eyes turned back to their blue and the larger than life power he held receded back into him and the earth. “Shall we negotiate?”

\---

That night his troops celebrated. The healed each other and drank and danced and worshipped the gods in thanks for their victory. He was worshipped and bowed to as he made his way through, drinking and dancing like everyone else. Morgana and him stuck side by side the entire night, arms thrown around each other waxing on about how dreadful their lives were. He had promised to release their prisoners after the peace talks, which started tomorrow. So they were thrown some wine and some food and magically sealed in the tent. 

He woke up the next morning he woke up fully clothed with a body on each side, Morgana and the guard from before had fallen into bed with him at some point during the night. As much as he dreaded to move from the wonderful place he had found himself in, he had to get ready to negotiate. He stood and shook Morgana as they crept around the tent, preparing themselves to meet with Bayard. Leaving the man sleeping in the tent he ordered a guard to have him up, ready, and on his way to the palace to meet them shortly. 

They strolled through the gates that were held open by their own people who looked as exhausted after the night of fun as they were. Bayard’s own men opened the doors to the castle readily and a servant met them right away. She took them to a room where they were offered bread, wine, and cheese. There was nothing left in the kingdom after what his soldiers had done, they destroyed it all.

When she came to fetch them again she led them to a room much like the one in Camelot, high stone walls with very few windows and Mercia banners hanging, collecting dust. Bayard was already seated at the head of the table and Arthur was on his right, so they took a seat at his left. Bowing their heads to both kings, they did not have to bow back.

“General Emrys, General Pendragon. Does King Cenred give you permission to speak on behalf of him and his kingdom?” 

“Yes, Sire. We have a letter penned by his own hand.” He carefully handed it over, it wasn't penned by Cenred’s own hand it was done by Merlin’s magic days before, but Cenred would have approved. If he didnt he wouldn't have sent them alone to war. Bayard read it over and nodded, Merlin would soon have to take the control out of his hands. “Sire, may I ask why King Arthur is here? I was not aware he was part of our negotiations as this was nothing but a territory dispute."

"He requested to sit in. Is this an issue, Emrys?" It was made very clear that it should not be an issue.

"Of course not, Sire. Could we bring in a territory map?" The king nodded and a moment later two advisors were returning. "We do not wish to dethrone you. Let me make that clear." 

"You don't?" Arthur asked, earning a glare from both generals and the king. 

“No, we do not, now if I may show you the land we are after.” Bayard nodded and he leaned over the map. “This strip of land,” He dragged his fingers over the piece separating Mora from Camelot. “That's all we want.” Gold filaments imprinted onto the map where his finger touched, drawing a gasp from his spectators. “If you are willing to sign that over to Mora and redraw the territory lines, we will be gone by nightfall.”

Bayard looked the gold on the map, outlining the land he wanted, when Arthur looked up, his jaw clenched. “Merlin may I speak to you?”

He looked up with ice in his eyes. “Of course.” turning to address Bayard he shot Arthur a dirty look. “Sire, General Pendragon is more than equipped to answer any questions you may have.” Then he nodded his leave. 

When the door shut behind Arthur Merlin was already whirling around with magic sparking in his veins. Arthur had just as much anger in his face, his hands itching to reach for his sword, he could see it. “What? You want another fight? You won’t win.”

Arthur growled and stalked forward. “You using magic doesn't make it a fair fight. Without it you couldn't beat me, you have nothing without your magic.”

They were nose to nose, Merlin’s voice was rich and taunting. “Thats hilarious, considering my magic saved your life so many times you could never pay off your debt. King Arthur Pendragon owns a dirty little warlock hundreds of life debts.”

“I don't owe you anything.”

“You owe me everything.” His lips curled back and his eyes turned gold, if Arthur was out here to fight him they would fight. And he would win.

His hand released the hilt on his sword and Arthur stepped back. “I just had a question for you. I don't not want to fight.” A perfect diplomat. A perfect king.

“Of course, your majesty. What did you wish to ask me?” He let his power recede, two could play this game. 

“I have been told that you waited till we arrived to launch your attack. You knew we were coming. How?” Just as that happened the man from last night strolled in, he did clean up quite nicely.

“Ah, perfect timing Gwaine. Arthur, this is how I knew.” A small smirk spread across his face to see Gwaine in his armor with a cape of Mora’s blue and silver. 

He could see something akin to sadness was visible in Arthur's eyes. Pain. In this moment he didn't see any anger or rage, just pain. The pain of the betrayal. “You betrayed me?”

Gwaine looked at the floor, then at Merlin to get an answer for an unknown question, and finally at Arthur. “Yes, I did. He didnt promise me anything either, no riches, no women, no alcohol. Merlin wasn’t aware of my plan, I did this on my own accord. I’m aware that if you wish to take revenge on me for that you have the means, but it would not have changed my mind. I'm sorry Arthur, I really am, you were a good friend to me. You gave me a home, but I already had one.” He looked again at Merlin and something warm blossomed in his chest. “I was always loyal to Merlin over Camelot, you should have known that. I just chose to go home.”

Merlin let his voice soften, knowing just how painful the betrayal of a friend can be. “Will you be asking for his extradition to put him on trial? Or may I go back to my meeting?”

“Go to your meeting.” He spit out. “I have men to gather.” He left the two to say their final goodbyes and returned to the meeting, taking his seat quietly while Morgana and Bayard seemed to be negotiating. 

"If you sign this land over to us, we will immediately rework our peace treaties and leave you with your lands in peace." Irritation was starting to show on her face, but she hid it well.

“And if I don’t?” She smiled politely, it was really scary.

“We will take measures to get what we came here for.” He nodded and sat back in his chair. “I will have a final answer for you at dinner. Until then, you are welcome to use our resources as you wish.” Without saying more, he stood up and took his leave. The two of them looked at each other.

“What did Arthur want?” She asked.

“How did the talks go?” He countered. She glared at him. “He wanted to know how we knew he was coming, then he learned about Gwaine, then he stormed off and was very angry.” A twisted cackle bubbled out of her lips.

She laughed until she was close to tears. “God I wish I could have seen his face.” She wiped her eyes and drank some of the wine set out for them. 

\---

They left soon after that to return to their camp where celebrations had died down and people were starting to pack everything but the necessities under the promise they were leaving the next day. They would be, they had already agreed to send the army home ahead of them in the morning so they could do the treaty and follow behind. The sooner they were home the better, he was almost beginning to miss the castle. He was also almost starting to miss Kilgharrah, shockingly, but after so long being close and having an almost working relationship Merlin had begun to care deeply for the dragon. 

When the troops were sent on their way the pair made their way back up to the castle, exploring the town and meeting the people. Mostly apologizing for the fighting and trying to make right by them, the people of Camelot resented the people in power and Merlin hoped he would never be viewed like that. He was like these people, he had been less than these people. A weak boy born to a single mother in a border village that neither side cared for. 

They signed the treaty, the strip of land Merlin wanted was his. Bayard and the other nobles would be taking the next few days to relocate to a different city to be the capital before Merlin- Cenred would send one of their lords to take over this area. 

Riding home they stopped to look at the land they had claimed. And finally, finally, their plan was happening. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go donate and sign petitions to support the black lives matter movement


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s that second chapter i promised and now i will get back to writing and editing so i can hopefully go back to posting more regularly

The ride back was fun, for the first time in a long time he was having pure unadulterated fun. They rode, Gwaine and Morgana flanking him, laughing and catching up on everything the others had missed. Late in the night they managed to pry a secret out of Morgana, she had always had a soft spot for Gwaine. She thought he was funny. Under the cover of darkness they both weaved magic in the air for Gwaine to see, there was something so fulfilling in the ways his eyes lit up and he laughed that Merlin would have happily stayed up all night just so Gwaine could have little ember dragons fly around. He loved that somebody loved his magic for its beauty. 

The moment the castle came into view the group morale changed. Him and Morgana became the strong generals who beat Bayard and were bringing the goods. Gwaine became the knight that betrayed Camelot for them. As they rode through the lower town it became clear that people knew who he was, word had already spread. They were back in Mora with Camelot’s betrayer. 

They released their horses into the care of stable hands, ones Merlin had come quite fond of in his time here, and made their way to the hall. Where Cenred should be awaiting their arrival, but when Merlin opens the door the throne is barren and the air in the room stale. He turned and stormed out to the guard who was waiting outside the door. “Where is Cenred?” He growled.

“He is- is in his rooms. He has been too sick to hold court.” He felt his shoulders relax minutely.

“Thank you.” He smoothed the guards shoulders, letting his magic seep in and settle in the man's bones. Then, without a word to anyone he started off to his king's quarters. He was aware Morgana held Gwaine back and he was, for the thousandth time, thankful the two of them didn’t always need words. 

\--- 

He nodded to the guards outside Cenred’s chambers who let him pass without hesitation and the second he opened the door a new mask slid over his face. Concern, pain, grieving… all things he wasn’t but must be right now. Moving swiftly, he knelt at Cenred’s bedside and touched the king's hand. “Cenred?” 

The man opened foggy eyes which struggled to focus on his face. “Emrys?” His jaw tightened and he fought the anger rising up in him. “Is that you?”

“Yes, we returned from our siege of Bayard’s castle and took back the land.” Cenred’s hand came to rest on Merlin’s jaw and he leaned into the touch, the picture of a man who knows he is about to lose a loved one. “He gave it over readily, I will be sending someone to take over the city tomorrow.” Cenred had already fallen back asleep in the short moments Merlin had been speaking. Standing, he dragged his hands across the king as he whispered a spell then straightened. He had better things to do than be here. 

He left the room, giving the guards instructions to let the king sleep, and he started down the hall. There was a humming in the base of his skull, tingling with new magic.  _ ‘Merlin!’  _ Kilgharrah’s voice was so loud in his head he stumbled into a wall.  _ ‘Merlin!'  _ Anger was quickly rising in him, but it was not his own, it was Kilgharrah. Rather than bother with a response, he quickly righted him out and raced out to the courtyard where the dragon was.

“What?!” He shouted up as people had gathered to watch whatever spectacle was about to happen. 

The dragon bowed his head and Merlin could hear a deep pride in his voice. “I brought you back something I think you will quite enjoy.” He noticed four guards behind Kilgharrah with two crates between them.

“Bring it here.” He said without hesitation, something filled his chest, if this was what he thought it was then this was shaping up to be one of the best days yet. He looked back as Gwaine and Morgana entered the courtyard and rushed towards him. “Kilgharrah brought us back something, I think it's-” The crates landed heavily at his feet.

“Be careful with those.” The Great Dragon snapped, but Merlin’s magic was already prying off the sealed lids and softly blowing away the grass and leaves that surrounded the precious cargo.

“Eggs.” He spoke in nothing more than a whisper as he dropped to his knees there in front of the crowd. “You found more eggs… I thought there were none left?” He looked up at Kilgharrah in awe.

“These were hidden long ago, before the purge was even a thought in our minds, there was always a fear that something would happen. So ancient dragonlords took precautions.” He ran his fingers down the side of a night black egg, he could feel heat pulsing from within.

“Are there any still hidden?” The dragon nodded so slightly he almost missed it. “And you are sure these can be hatched?” 

“You are a dragonlord, the last one, if anyone can call them forth from their eggs it is you. All you must do is name them.” Shifting away more leaves revealed another egg, this one was white and dappled with pink.

“I could name them right now? If I call out to them they will hatch?”

“I would prefer you didn't do it now, but yes they have been waiting for a dragonlord for hundreds of years.” He opened the next crate to find one that was a deep green and an egg of pure gold. 

“Tonight. I will call them forth tonight.” He looked at Kilgharrah for his guidance, something he hasn't done in a long time. The dragon nodded. Tonight, a new breed of dragons come into the world and pull the cycle of magic to the forefront.

\---

He pulled a hood up over his head before following Morgana from her rooms. He was too afraid of nosy children and angry mortals ruining the naming ceremony. Against Kilgharrah’s wishes he was bringing Morgana, Gwaine, and Freya. He knew they could never have command over the dragons like he would, but he wondered just how powerful bonding with humans can be after watching Morgana and Athiusa.

They followed him into the now sacred clearing, where he had landed, bloody and broken. Where his blood had seeped into the earth. Here his dragons lay in wait, eager for their kind to return. Kilgharrah did not need to remind him how to do this, his naming of Athiusa was burned into his memory. He approached the golden egg first, powerful and burning is that he felt when he laid his hands on the delicate shell. 

He let the dragon's life crawl across his skin as he pushed his magic outwards. “Ikarus.” He rasped out, speaking in the tongue of dragons without knowing it. He stayed there, with his head bent and his fingers curling around the glimmering gold, terrified that it wouldn't work. That they had been waiting for him for too long, that he couldn’t save the race that was kin to his own. 

Then, after an eternity of silence, something beneath his palm shook. He sat back on his heels and waited, close to tears with his dragon's breath around him. Small cracks started to appear, he went to reach out, to break the shell by himself but something held him back. 

He waited and waited until a pure gold talon clawed its way out and reached for the sky. Then, his hands were there to catch the small dragon as he shook his head and blinked his eyes open for the first time.

Ikarus’ scales were the color of rusted gold, dulled but still brilliant. He sat comfortably in Merlin’s hands, even if a week from now he will be bigger than his head. Gwaine squealed and came forward to cup his palms for the small creature, who lept into them readily. “He likes you, he likes how bright you are.”

Gwaine grinned at him like this was the best new he could have given him. “Does this mean I get a pet dragon?” And in a sense, maybe it was.

“No, you don’t get a pet dragon.” He deflated a little. “They aren’t pets, but you will have to help raise and train them so they are accustomed to humans that aren’t me.”

“Really!” Ikarus hissed and he lowered his voice. “Sorry little buddy, I’ll just take you over here and keep quiet yeah?” Without saying another word to Merlin, he retreated to the edge of the clearing talking quietly to the little dragon who looked up at him. 

Next, he brought the egg so green it was like an entire forest was contained in the shells. This dragon will be beautiful, the thought to himself. He waved Freya forward who knelt at his side as he reached out with his magic. They had the same energies, they would get along well, he was sure of it. Letting the dragon's energies wash over him and flood his senses until a name came to him, one of the small girls' own creation.

“Circe.” The name was warped and distorted as he said it in the dragon tongue, but almost immediately there was a quivering. She wasted no time clawing and biting at her shell until she tipped it over and crawled into the tall grass. He was right, she was beautiful, scales of deep green and gold like a forest in the summer. He lifted her gently and watched with amusement as she tried to take in all her surroundings at once.

“Hello little one, it’s nice to finally meet you, you must have been waiting quite a long time for this.” Voices in his head were silent as they had not developed yet, but the thought of all of them speaking to him made his heart soar. He stroked a single finger over her collar of spikes. “You’re going to be quite fearsome.” 

The little dragon seemed to care less what he was saying, she had set her sights on Freya and jumped from his hands onto her leg. She then climbed until she was perched on her head in all places. “Quite a curious one she is, I think we will get along quite well once you get bigger.” He smiled at them, his heart lighter than it had been in months. This, this was what he truly needed. They were his kin, his blood, his brothers and sisters and children.

There was something new pulsing in his blood as he called out to the black egg, and the dragon inside. It wasn’t magic, it wasn’t anger, it wasn’t pain… it was joy, light and love. Things it had been so long since he felt this deeply. “Siurin.” He could see his voice slide forward through the air and curl around the egg, white mist against black darkness. It sank in and sat as the cracks started appearing quickly, like the egg might shatter under a breeze. Fear stabbed through his heart. What if something was wrong?

He didn’t relax till purple eyes blinked up at him. Reaching out a shaking hand, Siurin climbed it, small claws sinking into Merlin’s skin. He lifted the little dragon until they were almost nose to snout, he was so small. There was something linking them together, a deep heat radiated out from his small body, one only Merlin could feel. Before they could share words, Siurin left from his arm to his shoulder and settled himself in the crook of Merlin’s neck. He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as warmth spread down one side of his body. 

He looked to Morgana, whose' eyes were shining with tears as much as he were, and nodded and she came to kneel beside him. He took her wrist and laid her hand against the last egg, white and pink dappled. The paleness of the egg made him wonder if the small dragon would be like Athiusa, a white dragon. Using his own magic to gently guide Morgana’s, they twined together and wrapped around the egg. A voice sounded in his head, Morgana’s voice but it wasn’t her, naming the dragon. 

“Eiso.” They said at the same time, him rasping in the dragon tongue and her in their native tongue for all to hear. 

There was a scraping, so bitter it made his skin crawl. It happened again, it was coming from the egg. Fear choked him so violently he felt himself gag, but Morgana calmly reached out to the egg wrapped both hands around it. Behind them Kilgharrah huffed a warning and even Athiusa stepped forward to watch her carefully. But as he watched Morgana’s magic flood around her and into the clearing the sound stopped and cracks appeared. Air flooded his lungs again as the smallest dragon yet tumbled into the grass with a squeak. 

He almost laughed as he scooped her up before Morgana could, he flashed her an apologetic look, but was too consumed with joy to feel that bad about it. Siurin stretched his wings, hitting Merlin’s cheek as he leaned forward to get a closer look at Eiso. He lifted the smallest dragon, not white like Athiusa, but white dappled with pink much like her egg. 

A laugh bubbles out of him, he had laughed more in the last two days than he had in the past year, but he just couldn’t help it. There was so much joy that filled him, he smiled as the two dragons bumped snouts and Siurin sneezed. Right now, in this moment, was the happiest he could remember feeling, because now he wasn’t alone. Him and Kilgharrah weren’t alone together anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please donate and sign petitions supporting the black lives matter movement


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i’m sorry, i have no excuse, i just didn’t write

It had been a week of joy, the dragons were learning to fly and speak. They spent all their time riding around on various people and creatures shoulders or heads. Sometimes Merlin would find them wandering the castle and had to quickly herd them away from Cenred’s room.

He had been waiting until the dragons understood the world and had a decent grasp over their balance before letting Cenred know it even happened. Ikarus has taken to sleeping in Gwaine’s bed while the other three would sleep with Kilgharrah and Athiusa, or sometimes occasionally him. He dreaded waking them both up, because they both looked so peaceful and quiet when they finally slept, but it was finally time. And he needed Ikarus. 

“Gwaine?” He asked none too quietly as he opened the door. Gwaine unsurprisingly didn’t wake up, but Ikarus did and the little dragon tried to launch himself from the bed into Merlin’s arms. His magic lashed out to carry his weak wings until he crashed into Merlin’s chest, almost knocking the breath out of him. He chuckled under his breath and shifted him so it was like he was holding a baby. “Ready to meet the king?” Smoke curled up from the small dragons face, good, he needed to put on a show for Cenred. Thankfully, he had become a damn good actor. 

The moment he stepped into the hall a mask slipped over his emotions, cool and frightening. Here he was, the king's fearsome general who had the ability to make dragons and magic bend to his will, that was the man Cenred wanted him to be. He had wanted a general, a pet, to order around for his own amusement, Merlin had become that. Slowly, freeing the kingdom of the man's poison under his nose the whole time. When he needed a gentle lover, someone to be devoted to him and worship him, Merlin became that. When he was weak and sick he looked to Merlin to lead, he had put his trust in him, but you should never put your trust in things beyond your understanding. That had been Cenred’s fatal mistake, he trusted an untamable force of nature driven by rage, thinking he could somehow control the storm that swirled beneath Merlin’s skin. He placed his kingdom in Merlin’s hands and now Merlin was going to be the one to take it all away.

The guards refused to meet his eyes when he got to the king's chambers, cowering away from him and from Ikarus who rested on his shoulders with glittering scales. Beautiful, gold, deadly. Cenred would love him. He ducked through the door, quickly finding the balance between the two people Cenred expected him to be. The king was laying in bed, the way he had been for weeks, too weak to do anything but lay there and wait to finally die. Merlin had done that, with subtle spells and potions, he had brought a powerful king to his knees before him. If only he had done that to Uther long ago. 

He watched as Cenred fought to keep his eyes open while trying to figure out who had entered his room. “Merlin?” His voice was so weak it was almost pitiful, almost. He let a soft smile drift across his face as he set Ikarus on the ground. “Is that… a dragon?” Cenred asked as Merlin took his standard seat beside his bed and held his hand. 

“Yes, it is. His name is Ikarus. Kilgharrah retrieved some eggs that had been hidden centuries ago and we managed to hatch them.” His free hand reached down to stroke the small dragons snout.

Cenred frowned up at him, but his eyes were slightly out of focus. “He's gold.” Merlin nodded encouragingly. “Is he powerful?”

He covered their joined hands with his free one. “Incredibly, I called them forth myself. You don't get more powerful than that.” Cenred smiled through the haze and Merlin was struck once again by how handsome he could be if he only smiled. 

“Yes, you are quite powerful aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question, just Cenred talking to himself. “Show me some magic will you Merlin? I’m growing to believe my time might come soon.”

Perfect, this is exactly what he needed. “Sire don’t speak like that, you will recover in time. I am sure of it.” Cenred gave a small laugh then started coughing, Merlin’s spells had virtually killed him, it just needed a little push. “What would we do if you were to die?”   
  
“Merlin, sweet Merlin, you hope for the best much too often. You have said it yourself, that even your magic is being bested by this illness.” A sick sort of glee clawed its way into his chest and settled there, Cenred never even thought to suspect him. He opened his mouth to protest, saying if he could just find the right spell. “Merlin I fear we don’t have the time for that, I feel my days are numbered. We must focus on my empire if I am not to recover from this.” He fought to not roll his eyes when he called Mora an ‘empire’. Instead he plastered a look of concern on his face and nodded slowly. “You must succeed me. It’s the only way I know our vision will be realized.”

His voice was faint and breathy when he spoke, it was taking all of his self control to keep joy out of his tone. “I have no claim to the throne, they would never accept me.” He just needed Cenred alive for a few more minutes, just a little longer to get what he wanted.

“My seal. It’s on my desk. Fetch it for me?” Merlin nodded and brought the seal back and handed it to Cenred. It was a simple thing, Mora’s crest set in gold, the two snakes intertwining. “Take it.”

He tried his best to feign surprise. “Wha-what? You want me to take it?” He looked down at it as Cenred forcefully pressed it into his hands. 

“You are the only one I trust. My goal is to conquer, I devoted my life to the god of war. I have to believe you will follow me, even after my death.” He tried to push the seal back, make a show of being unable to accept such power. 

“I am no king, I was barely a warrior before I came to you.” He had the seal, he had his trust, he has the people's trust. Now he just needed it in writing. “Even if you give me your seal, I am a mage, they will accuse me of stealing.” Everything he was using now, he had learned from Arthur. How to play nice in court and manipulate them to do what you wish. Nobles were too self centered to use someone else's idea, so you had to plant it in their heads. Make them feel like the smart one. 

“Then I’ll put it in ink. Merlin, fetch me parchment.” Even on his deathbed Cenred would make demands. But he was on his deathbed, so Merlin did what he asked with no complaint. When he returned to the king's side Cenred already seemed weakened from pushing himself into sitting position. He had to be incredibly strong to still be hanging on, his body was putting everything it had into fighting his magic. 

Cenreds hand shook, but on the parchment he wrote exactly what Merlin wanted. A clear statement that he was in stable mind and body to be giving the seal to Merlin and that it would be Cenred’s dying wish if he did not survive the illness that Merlin would take over as he had no heirs. Forever the perfect pet, Merlin fetched one of the guards from outside the door who Cenred instructed to take the letter and make sure it was delivered to his council with the threat of his life if he failed. 

“There was no need to threaten to kill the poor man.” He said gently as he sat down on the bed, letting Cenred collapse into him.

A sheen on sweat coated his pale skin as Merlin stroked his hair, letting magic seep through his fingers. “I needed to make sure he would do just as I asked as quickly as possible.” A part of him felt terrible for what he was doing to Cenred, but he took that piece and shoved it down beneath all the pain and heartbreak he let fester. The time for regret had long passed. 

“Well now there’s only one guard outside your chambers. If an assassin were to come right now who would protect you?” A smile was on his face, he just had to pray Cenred didn’t notice the sadness it hid. He used to tease Arthur this way, poking fun at him for the constant parade of guards around him. 

Cenred was speaking, something about how Merlin would protect him, but it was too late. Memories had already invaded his head. ‘You’ve been trained to kill since birth right? Shouldn’t you be able to protect yourself? Why do we need all of Camelot’s army following us?’ ‘Because Merlin, if we get ambushed you’re too much of a girl to be any help in a fight.’ ‘So you’re saying that all the training wasn’t enough to protect you and one other person? What are you going to tell all the beautiful maidens you have to save.’ For that comment Arthur has shoved him so hard he tripped into a mud pit, but thankfully he had taken the prince down with him. 

He didn’t realize he never responded until Cenred was asleep on his chest. His breathing was shallow as Merlin wiggled free and carefully laid the king in bed. He pulled up the sheets and fluffed the pillows like he would for Arthur. When he straightened the worried personal he wore faded away, any remorse that had risen to the surface sunk again. 

The seal bit into his palm as he waved his hand across Cenred, one last spell. The king would never wake up from this sleep, it was only a matter of time before Merlin could put him in the ground. 

He clicked his tongue and Ikarus crawled out from under the bed where he had hidden when the attention was no longer on him. He leapt into Merlin’s arms and used them as ladders to get to his shoulder where he sat, vigilant and watching all the guards they passed. 

Hours later Merlin was roused by pounding on his door and bells ringing in the night. The king was dead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again, you can yell at me in the comments


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i don’t really have an excuse for this. i did just go back to school and have been getting slammed with homework but it’s been a whole month. all i can tell you is that i watched haikyuu and have become Very obsessed and having be starting random projects there so if you like haikyuu

When the bells started ringing Morgana hadn’t been sleeping. She would never admit it to any self respecting person, but she had been awake and in Gwaine’s room. They had just been talking, she had been explaining to him everything that had happened since Merlin’s burning. Or at least everything she knew. 

Right after dinner Merlin declined their offer for a drink, saying he was tired and wanted to sleep. Now she knew why. “Gwaine. Stay here and do not move.” She didn’t wait for a response, she knew he would listen. 

Without another word she left the room, her unbuttoned jacket billowing with speed. She arrived at Merlin’s room just as he was walking out flanked by two guards. For a split second she was back in the throne room of Camelot seeing Merlin in chains with Uther towering over him. It was gone as quick as it came once she saw his hands were free and weaved together. His face was twisted in worry as he caught her eye, nodding once. To anyone else it looked like an acknowledgement, to her it was confirmation. 

More bells started ringing from the town below, magnified by the silence of the night and magic. “The king is dead!” They called. Voices echoed through the streets as the message was repeated over and over again. 

“The king is dead! King Cenred is dead!”

She looked at Merlin again and even she wasn’t able to tell if the stricken look on his face was because he killed a man, or because he was afraid of what happened next. Then, a small voice in her head reminded her that it wasn’t the first time Merlin had killed somebody, he had killed Uther and probably many more. And he had planned this, everything they had done had been a point in his plan. The look of horror on his face just showed how good of an actor he really is. It disturbed her a little bit.

She pushed past the guards and wrapped her arms around his neck, they both needed to play a role for this to work. She cupped Merlin’s cheek, his eyes were dry, and pull him into another hug.

“The council is being called.” His voice was rough, like he had actually been crying. “We need to attend.” He opened his hand to show her the small seal he held, the guards around them gasped. Nobody seemed angry.

She nodded and placed a hand on his back. “This is going to be hard, Merlin. Are you able to do this right now? I can hold them off.”

He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I have to Morgana, he made me promise I would follow him after his death.” Now there were tears in his eyes, that made her feel even worse. “I have to do this.” She nodded and lead him the the war room where the council was gathered. They took their seats, the throne was left open.

She held Merlin’s hand under the table, but she wasn’t sure if it was to keep up the act or comfort herself. Cenred’s top advisor, Galahad, the man who should have taken over, stood up. “With a heavy heart, I must announce the passing of our beloved king. King Cenred has spent the past months fighting an illness so strong no plants or magic could best it.” He looked to Merlin and Morgana as he said it. “Tonight he finally succumbed. When the guards found him, one came and delivered this to me.” he held up a folded piece of parchment. “It is a letter from the King, one penned not long before his death. He knew his days were coming to an end and he says here his last wish was for the empire he built to continue.” The advisors voice tightened. “And he said he wishes to have General Emrys take his place, because he believes it is the best way for his dream to be realized. Of course King Cenred is dead, so we will never totally be able to know the authenticity of this letter, but I can confirm is was penned and signed by his hand.”

One of the other men spoke. “How can we be sure he didn’t forge it.” he sneered at Merlin as he spoke and Morgana glared back. Merlin was putting on a lovely show of being spaced out staring at the table. Silent with grief.

“What does he get out of forging it. If he wanted to be in charge he would be, you know how powerful he is.” They spoke like Merlin wasn’t in the room, maybe he wasn’t, maybe his head truly was somewhere else right now. He was getting so good Morgana wouldn’t know for sure. 

The arguing continued until Merlin reached a hand into the middle of the table and opened it. The golden seal landed on the wood, a small sound but it silenced the room. “If you think i’m faking all of this, you can pick up that seal. I never asked Cenred to make me king. I never wanted to be king. I’m taking on this responsibility in honor of him and for the people of Mora, if you think you can do better pick it up.” Nobody spoke for a long time and eventually Merlin’s now red eyes dropped back to the table and he sunk in his seat.

The top advisory cleared his throat. “I think that we have all known General Emrys to be a good and honest man. And we also know that King Cenred did nothing without intention. We have a letter penned by the king and General Emrys has the seal. While it will never be 100% proven, I can say I believe this is authentic. King Cenred’s last wish was for General Emrys to take up the throne in the event of his death. We must respect that.” She could see a small smile on Merlin’s face, hiding behind red eyes and shaggy hair. He knew this would happen. He alway knew what would happen, because he made things happen. He pulled all the strings needed to get what he wants when he wants it. Morgana couldn’t help but love him for it. 

Slowly the other councilmen agreed, thinking back on their interactions with Merlin and his devotion to Cenred. His devotion had been so real Morgana believe there was a small part of Merlin who really had fell for the man. Really had loved him, but that just means another part of Merlin is dead, waiting to be buried in the ground. 

If he had truly fallen for Cenred, then that was another part of Merlin’s heart lost. Burned to ash and buried six feet under. She studied Merlin out of the corner of her eye as he slowly came back to reality. He was looking between the other council members in confusion, like he couldn’t believe how quickly they had trusted him. This was the direct opposite of his sly smile only minutes before. And she wasn’t sure who he was acting for or what was the truth.

“General Emrys?” Galahad asked after a tense moment between Merlin and the rest of the room. Merlin’s blue eyes focused on him. “Is there something you would like to say?”

Merlin cleared his throat and stood. “I apologize for my… state.” He dragged a hand across his stubble. “I am-I am honored to be able to stand before you all and be considered an ally, or a friend to many of you.” He turned away and swallowed. “King Cenred gave me so many opportunity, but before anything he gave me something I had never gotten so freely before. Trust. Love. Loyalty-“ He stopped himself and shook his head.

“Now is not the time for a sappy speech of my thanks. I am honored that you all believe in me, as I did not forge anything as some might think.” He gave a weak smile in an attempt to make it a joke. “If you want me as your king as Cenred did, I swear to follow his wishes to my grave, but for now we must let the people and ourselves mourn.” Galahad nodded as Merlin sat, eating up every last word. 

He clasped his hands in front of him. “Very well said General Pendragon, our kingdom is now facing a tragedy and I think it is only fair to put all talk of succession out of mind for now to honor King Cenred.” Everyone voices their agreement. “Then that will be all for tonight. Get some sleep, fine comfort where you can. We will reconvene in a few days.” He hit the table to signal the end of a meeting and people started drifting out. 

Morgana sat there with Merlin until everyone had finally left and the heavy doors shut. Candles flickered, casting large ominous shadows across the throne. “Are you okay?” She hesitated to ask, but it was the best way to open a conversation. 

The question hung in the air for another minute before he looked up at her. “No.” His voice was quiet, but there was enough reluctance in his tone for her to almost jump at the word. She put her hand on his arm. “I,, never had problems with killing people before. I killed for Arthur more times than he will ever know.” His confession shocked her, he had never gone into the details of what he had done ‘behind the scenes in Camelot’ when it came to Arthur instead of the whole kingdom.

Merlin sighed. “But Cenred was different. He could be vile, despicable, terrible, rude, demanding… but sometimes he was nice to me. Gods that sounds so sad when I say it outloud, but I think I almost loved him, Morgana. Or at least the man he might have been.”

Those words hung in the air between them. Shadows playing across their faces as the wind whispered against the windows. The darkness pressing in on them, creeping closer and closer, threatening to take them as its own. 'I almost loved him… or at least the man he might have been.' Was that how he felt about Arthur now? Was it why he stayed with Arthur for so long? Had he ever thought that about her? Was Merlin always looking towards the future? Did that make him forget about the present?

“I think Cenred could have been a good man.” She said finally. There was nothing more she could say, she could no longer see Merlin unless he wanted to be seen. 

Merlin stood after another beat, the wooden chair scraping against the stone floors. “Maybe in another life. A different future.” He looked down at her and she looked back, both their expressions carefully trusting. His shoulders sagged and he nodded his head. She nodded back. While she watched his back walk about it hit her just how tired he looked. Like the earth was already pulling him down into its clutches. 

When she finally shook herself free of heavy thoughts she returned to her chambers alone. Morgana was tired too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i’m sorry but please remember kudos and comments are my writing fuel

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading just this first chapter, i’m working on chapter six but this looks like it’ll be a long fic so let’s pray i hold out


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